Podcast Episode - Suze Stories: Make Some Magic Happen

On this episode, we hear an email conversation between Suze and a listener, who went through a horrible situation.  Hear what unfolded, what Suze’s advice was and the steps you can take to ensure the same thing doesn't happen to you.

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Podcast Transcript:

Suze: March 31st, 2024. Happy Easter, everybody.

KT: Yeah. Happy Easter, Suze. What a beautiful morning.

Suze: Welcome to the Women and Money podcast, as well as everybody smart enough to listen. Today, we're going to be doing something different. We're going to have a Suze story. These are real-life stories, so listen to it—because these are stories that will relate to many of you out there. Go on, KT.

KT: Everyone remember, there's always a blessing in Suze's stories. So, I'm going to play the part of Deborah, who actually wrote into Suze, and Suze will answer in her voice what she sent back to Deborah.

KT (as Deborah): Hi, Suze. Please help me. I am a mess. I was a very successful corporate employee, single mom, homeowner with a 401(k), a Roth, financial cushion, etc.—all that you prescribe.

I tragically suffered the loss of my home when referred to an attorney who was supposed to be helping me with a loan modification back in 2014. He turned out to be a con man and stole from many, many people.

He even filed four bankruptcies in my name to avoid the sale of my home so that he could continue to use its equity—all completely without my knowledge. An exceptionally long, convoluted story involving the district attorney and pending prison time for the con man—except, Suze, he took his own life rather than face the consequences.

My daughter and I were left homeless with no hope of restitution and no surviving family. All I had was in my home.

I suffered a breakdown. I was unable to work for several years. However, I did put my daughter through college. At least there, she had a roof over her head while I bounced around renting miserable rooms, all while trying to heal mentally and emotionally with no one and nowhere to fall.

All the money I had was slowly drained away by the attorneys, doctors, inpatient stays, storage fees for our home contents, and moving costs. I wanted to die, and I did try taking my own life several times.

Oh, and I forgot to share that when this all happened, I was taking prerequisites for nursing school. I planned to attend college while my daughter was away at college. That was my goal—my dream—until it was all taken from me.

That was 10 years ago, and I still do not own my own home. I still rent a room because I live in the Bay Area here in California. And whereas it was possible for one person to buy a home alone back in 1999, which is when I bought mine, it is completely impossible today.

Indeed, it is also impossible for couples in this area. Most share multifamily homes or must rent out rooms to bolster income enough to make the exorbitant mortgage payments here.

I dropped out of school for a couple of years and then picked it up again, and I'm about to graduate.

So, Suze, how do I put my life together again at 60 years old?

Please, please help me. I feel such a letdown to my daughter, whom I worked so hard to provide for and leave something once my life is over.

I'm willing to leave California but so afraid of making a mistake with so little in reserve now and so few working years left. I trust your judgment above all others. Can you please advise me?

Suze: My dear Deborah, life at 60 can really just be a start for you—not an ending. You have to believe that with all your heart. You have to look at what you have, not at what you could have had.

Could have, should have, would have—I don't think so. Now listen to me, Deborah. You have to stop thinking of yourself as a victim. You chose this lawyer. You were somehow responsible for not checking what was going on. After all those years, you obviously just trusted—without ever checking your credit reports. So you have to own this.

Rather than looking at all that was taken from you, I need you to look at all it has given you. What was the gift you gave your daughter by teaching her what can go wrong—and with all that, you still put your daughter through college. A letdown to your daughter? Are you kidding me?

You showed her that a mom will do anything to take care of her daughter. How did you let her down? I want you to write it down. What—that you don't own your own home? Is that how you let her down? That you don't have money, you don't drive a fancy car? Go on, write all the reasons as to why you let your daughter down.

That is what you think your daughter wants from you?

Your daughter only wants you to be happy, to love her—but more importantly, to love yourself. Maybe you disappointed yourself, but not your daughter. You showed her what a truly strong woman can do. And now you are about to graduate and live your dream.

Do not let your emotions—fear, shame, and anger—get in your way. Don't turn your back on the battlefield now. Not now, when you have finally won the war. And you best get, Deborah, that life is not about what you leave when you die. It's about giving to yourself for once, and letting others—including your daughter—do the same. Do you hear me?

Stop this right now and be the powerful woman you were born to be. Now you go out there and make some magic happen.

KT: Thank you, Suze. Thank you for taking your precious time to respond to me, for sharing your wisdom, and reminding me of the value in all of this.

You are absolutely right, of course. I just needed to hear that from you—from the person whose advice and framing I know I can trust in order to move ahead with real hope and purpose.

I feel that today—perhaps all is not lost.

My daughter learned one of the most valuable life lessons: never to trust or believe that everyone has your best interest at heart—even those referred to you and without negative online reviews.

She has always been driven and a hard worker. I put that down in part to my nighttime readings, which was always one or two of your books. Indeed, as soon as she turned 16, she was excited to work and earn her own money—to become independent and self-sufficient. And this was long before we lost our home.

Since then, her drive quadrupled. She managed to save over $190,000, which—because of what we endured—she has invested following your advice and will not be tied to having to work after 45 if she chooses. And for that, I am truly grateful.

She will have choices which are not available to those without a nest egg. And I am so relieved because of that.

May I ask a question, Suze, about my finances going forward?

Since all of this, I have little trust in my ability to make the best financial decisions. I have learned what not to do—but not what I should do with income from this point in my life onwards.

How should I best invest some of what I earn after my monthly obligations are paid? What is a recommended vehicle for this in my circumstance, as there are so many from which to choose? A path to follow, one day at a time, would bring tremendous comfort and reassurance.

Thank you again, Suze, with all of my grateful heart. Sincerely, Deborah.

Suze: Deborah. I want you to ask your daughter for guidance. Empower her to help you as you have empowered her to help herself. She will guide you, and the two of you will figure it out together. If she has the ability to have saved $190,000, she can teach you to do the same. She will love that you are coming to her.

Now, this circle has been completed.

You have to be wondering—maybe—why did we choose this particular story to tell you?

There are so many lessons in this story. So get out your little Suze notebooks, because the lessons involved here are—what, KT? What would you say they are?

KT: Trust yourself with your money more than anyone.

Suze: Right. So, one of the major laws of money is: trust yourself more than you trust others. I find it very hard to believe that Deborah didn't feel like something was going wrong during this time. But sometimes, we don't want to know, so we just don't investigate it.

It's your money, and what happens to your money directly affects the quality of your life—not some lawyer's life, not some financial advisor's life, insurance agent's life—but your life. And you can see in this story how other people—one person, just one, that came recommended, by the way—how it totally affected Deborah's life.

But when that does happen, you have to have faith that everything happens for the best. Write that down. Because look at what her daughter learned—from loss, not from gain, not from privilege, not from all the gifts that you could buy her, not from the new car you could have bought her, whatever it may be.

Look at the strength it made her daughter have. And so many times, so many of you write me and you feel so bad—just like Deborah—that you couldn't give your children all the things you wanted to. You had to have them take out loans. You couldn't do this, you couldn't do that—without even realizing how you gave them the greatest lesson in life.

Which is a lesson that all the money in the world could never buy. And that is a lesson of strength. A lesson of knowing that you can do it, no matter what happens.

And that was what Deborah passed down to her daughter. What would you say was the value of that lesson? What would you say is the cost of that lesson? It is a priceless, priceless lesson.

So you might want to listen to this story over and over again—and ask yourselves the questions: If this had happened to you, what would you have learned? Deborah finally has learned to honor herself—not everything she created as a corporate person in a house and this or that—but to honor the gift that she gave her daughter, and now the gift that she is going to give herself.

What do you want to say, KT?

KT: On this Easter Sunday, I think also for me, what resonated most in the story is the same. But I say it a little differently: just have faith in yourself.

Suze: You have to. And you have to know that no matter what happens in your life, you have to stand in your truth and have the strength to carry on. Never, ever forget that.

So until next Thursday, KT, there's really only one thing that we want you all to remember—and it's a little bit different this week.

It's to stand in your truth. Stand in your truth and remain connected to your own divinity.

Until then, if you do that—what will happen, KT?

KT: You will be unstoppable.

Suze: Bye-bye now.