March 17, 2019
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What do you think the six most valuable words in life are?
March 17, 2019. Welcome to the Women & Money podcast. Now, I have a question for you. Did you notice anything different? You just heard the theme song that leads into this. Did you notice anything? Prior to today, the theme song was Together We Will Survive. Today, the theme song is Together We Will Rise. Now, why did I change it? Well, I'll tell you why. I changed it a little bit ago. In fact, it was March 6th at 9:52 pm. I see an email that comes into the firstname.lastname@example.org. Now, you know, if you want to ask a question and be part of the podcast you write in an email. Sometimes I answer you directly, sometimes it's here on the podcast, but I see this email and essentially what this email says. The the theme of it. The subject is, “I hate the podcast song.” And I’m like so curious. And it's from a woman by the name of Doreen. And let me read you her email. I hate the podcast song. Together We'll Survive. Are you kidding me? 30 years ago when I started following you and reading your books after my divorce I wanted to survive. Well, I've evolved since then. And so should you. Since when is Suze Orman's goal just to survive. How about powerful things that rhyme with we are wise. Such as, together we will rise, or together we will thrive. We'll survive sucks. It definitely doesn't mesh with your brand. Just saying . Doreen, in Massachusetts. Well, when you write something, I take it to heart. I read these things and I go, yeah, you know, when I originally heard the song, I said the same thing to the composer and the response was no, we needed two beats survived for it to work in the song. We tried everything else. And I went, all right. And I settled, I'm not settling anymore. After Doreen wrote me that email, I called up and I said, we've got to change it, go back into the studios and change it to “we will rise”. And they did. I love that song. That was Effie. Again, the name of the song is Together, We will Rise. And you can all get it on Spotify. And Doreen, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. But I also just want to say one thing. Do you understand how powerful you can be if you just voice the truth, you just write the truth, you speak the truth. This is the strength that I'm talking about. I want you to be strong, smart, secure women. And when you're strong, you say what's on your mind. And you say it with the truth. And the truth can change other people. It changed me. One email, Doreen. And look, we did what you asked. I love that. All right. Let's start with this week's theme. Now I've noticed, as I've been going through all the emails and I've been going through a lot of emails, I’ve noticed that you sometimes have a problem of being able to tell those that are closest to you what is on your mind. And it eats at you, and it eats at you. And it prevents you from being a strong, smart and secure woman. And it's really important that when you think something, that you're able to say it. Even if you've done something wrong, it is really important for you to admit that you made a mistake. Because sometimes it's you, it's not others, it's you. And then I started to realize that you tell me so much personal stuff about you. And what you're going through and what you're thinking and you become so vulnerable with me. And I also want to become vulnerable with you. Because I am you in many ways. And I know you look at me and you think I'm this strong woman and this powerful woman, but even I make mistakes. And it's through our mistakes that we make, that I make, that I grow to be even a stronger woman. And in life, if I were to think about the six most powerful words that I could ever say, they would be these words. I admit that I was wrong. So many times we hold on to our opinion. We defend what we've done. We just refused to acknowledge that maybe, just maybe, we made a mistake. And just simply saying, I admit that I was wrong. I'm sorry. I admit that I was wrong. So today's podcast is about the six most important words you can ever say, which happens to be, I admit that I was wrong. It was one week ago yesterday, and I went to an art opening that was a benefit for an organization, a nonprofit and it was held at a resort in south Florida. And this organization deals with children of foster care, teaching them how to be strong, loving them, being there for them, and my sister in law, who is an extraordinary artist. In fact for 25 years now or something like that, she has been teaching people, mainly women, how to paint. And how to envision their lives as being an artist when they thought they never even could draw a straight line, let alone paint. And to find your own power in painting. And Lynn by the goodness of her heart, started to teach these kids one at a time, maybe three would come, six would come, but would teach these kids how to paint. Many of them never had held a brush before, many of them had never done anything like that before. And last year, when she did this, they all exhibited their artwork and it was fabulous, and I was there, and the kids sold their artwork and and money was raised, and I got up and I spoke. And I have to admit I was so eloquent. I gave the kids hope or I wanted to at least as to that your past doesn't determine your future. And I talked to them about my past, and how it didn't matter where I came from, what I was, all that matters is where I am going and what I wanted to be. So I was into this organization. And this year we go. All these other people had come to not only see the kid's artwork, but to see Lynn's artwork as well. There were like 135 pieces. If somebody purchased it, proceeds would go to her program. And I was watching, and I was there, and it started at six o'clock. And now at 6:30, and now it's seven, now it's 7:15, it's starting to end. I see people are leaving and I'm getting anxious. You got to start this, you gotta do this now, come on, get up there, show the kids artwork, tell everybody to buy the painting so that the money can help the kids! And I was watching people leave, and I was getting so anxious about it because I was so passionate about this. Sometimes passion isn't a good thing. And the two women who run the program spoke. But in my opinion, it was like, no, no, tell everybody more. Tell everybody why they had to participate in this. But that wasn't their way, they did it the way they wanted to do it, not how Suzie Orman thought they should do it. And then Lynn spoke, and spoke about the kids and it was so eloquent. It was so fabulous. But still I wanted somebody up there simply to say, come on, come on, we can all do this, we can all give money to this organization, we can do it by buying artwork, by doing whatever donating, but nobody came out right and said that. And again, my passion was growing. Plus anger, you have to know little anger. Because I wanted them to say that. And then it was over, and I knew I could feel that they wanted me the money lady to go up there and say something. And that's when I made probably one of the biggest mistakes I've made in a long time. Because when I went up there, I had so much passion, and like I said, anger, I didn't present in the right way. I presented in a way and said things that, that just didn't come across the way that it should have come across. And I could tell that that had happened. And I could tell that I hurt Lynn, my sister in law, a lot. Because nobody said anything. I could just see that for that moment, I was so inappropriate. And it was over, and we went home. All right. And now it's bugging me in a way that I haven't been bugged about something in a long, long time. And I'm sitting with it, and I'm like, I need to say something. I need to call Lynn. I need to write Lynn. I need to say I'm sorry to the kids. I wish I could say I was sorry to everybody who came and maybe nobody even noticed it. Maybe it was just in how I perceived it, but it was making me crazy. But even Suze Orman, I was afraid to say something. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know how to express how sorry I was about being so wrong. And then just yesterday, it took me one week from the day of the event to write Lynn an email. Not justifying my actions because you know when you justify something, who cares. If you did something wrong, just admit that you did something wrong. And of course I said I was sorry, but I also told her that I admitted that I was wrong. And I said that from my heart. And then for the first time in over a week, Lynn, who always writes me, wrote me back and says, thank you so much for saying this, we'll talk about it tomorrow. Just know I love you. Just know I love you. I stared at that email and I said wow, great. But then the next emotion came up, and that emotion was oh my God, Lynn is going to come over today, she's going to come over today right after I'm recording this. And what am I gonna say to her? And she's going to talk to me. And that fear is still in m. Now what does all of this have to do with women and money? Obviously the event was to raise money. For the past week, the fact that I wasn't able to talk about this and I still have this fear, and I still feel bad about it, and I know after I talked to Lynn, I won't feel bad anymore. But it's almost paralyzed me. It's paralyzed me. I haven't been happy. I haven't felt strong, I haven't felt secure. I haven't taken the actions that Suze Orman normally takes. And yes, even though I have to go and I have to give this talk, and I can do this. Inside of me, inside of me, I feel less than. Something happened to my self-worth. Just because I made that little mistake. Now obviously that self-worth will come back. I will overcome this. Trust me, it's not that big of a deal. But do you all understand what my mind has done to what I did? And again, I'm sure if we talk to the people that were there, they would look at me and go, huh? Oh yeah, it was a little awkward what you said Suze, but they went on. They’re not thinking about it anymore. They don't they're not dwelling in it. I'm the one who's dwelling in it. And because I'm dwelling it it's keeping me from being a powerful woman that I was born to be. What are you dwelling in? What are you thinking about? What are you? You know, just obsessing about that? Maybe nobody else is thinking about. Are you thinking that others are thinking something about you and that's rendered you powerless? Do you need to say something to somebody and you're just afraid to do it? Just because you were wrong and it means so much to you, and you don't know what to do? So I wanted this podcast to be about you, about me. About saying what's on our mind, and not being afraid, and being able to say I admit that I was wrong. And boy do I know that I was wrong. But after you say it eventually you will recover from it if you take the correct actions. And if you take the correct actions, just make sure those actions start with the six most valuable words in life, which are I admit that I was wrong.
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