July 13, 2023
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Today, we're re-visiting part of an episode where Suze discusses why our negative thoughts, fears and actions limit our potential and prevent us from being safe, strong and secure.
Music: Music (in).
Robert: July 13th, 2023. Hi, everybody. This is Robert, Suze's producer. Coming to you from a hotel room in San Francisco, California. I am almost finished as Suze puts it, gallivanting across the United States following Dead and Company. In fact, that's why I'm here in San Francisco for the final three shows this weekend.
Robert: And as we thought might happen, schedules didn't quite align. So today instead of an Ask Suze and KT Anything, we're going to present highlights from an episode from about a year ago. As I have been driving and flying across the country this summer, this particular episode which was originally called Don't Turn Your Back on yourself has been with me as I've met different people on this amazing journey.
Robert: So Suze will be back on Sunday with a brand new Suze school, but we're gonna pick up this episode where Suze is talking about how she chooses emails on Ask Suze podcast at Gmail dot com. Suze:
Suze: I do this thing where I like, just spin them and up comes an email and I punch it and I go, ok, that's the one that needs my attention.
Suze: And one after another, after another
Suze: were from women
Suze: who were in their either mid forties, mid fifties, mid sixties, even mid seventies,
Suze: all having been left by their husbands, their spouses or they've even chosen to leave.
Suze: And somehow one after another, they've gotten themselves into a state of such incredible anxiety and fear that they are paralyzed.
Suze: They are paralyzed from doing anything that is possibly constructive for themselves, possibly even positive for themselves. They have given up hope. They have given up faith. They have all decided that they're never gonna trust anybody again. They're always gonna live a life of fear. They're never gonna feel secure and on and on and on.
Suze: And I've spent hours and hours and hours writing them back, going through their finances with them, one by one statement by statement. Don't do this, don't do that. No, here's what I want you to do.
Suze: But even with the best advice from me,
Suze: they're all like, I can't,
Suze: I don't know.
Suze: So, KT saw that I was angry
Suze: and whenever I'm angry, she said go to a podcast, go do a podcast
Suze: because it's not about anger at them.
Suze: It's about anger at the fact
Suze: that we turn our backs on our own power.
Suze: Anger because it really is all of our prefer found of loss that keeps us from gain.
Suze: All of us are the ones anyway that I've been reading, they are holding on so tightly
Suze: to the little bit that they have
Suze: that their hands aren't open to receive that, which is meant to come their way.
Suze: And then you put on top of that. Some of the worst, the absolute worst financial advice I have ever seen in my life being piled on top
Suze: of the fact that these women are emotional wrecks right now and rightfully so, it's never easy to be left. It's also never easy to leave.
Suze: It's hard to do so,
Suze: but sometimes you have to just get through it and it takes time.
Suze: But to have financial advisors giving advice that is 1000% wrong. That would hurt these women. It makes me even go nuts.
Suze: So of course, I do my best to try to help them.
Suze: And then I think about the Women and Money podcast and I think about how I've said now,
Suze: not just on this podcast, but on the Suze Orman show, every talk I've given every book I've written every blog I've ever posted. I've said
Suze: I hate variable and universal life insurance policies, but it's as if it goes in one ear and out the other.
Suze: I tell you things that you should not be investing in and it goes in one ear and out the other. What happens to you when you sit down in front of a financial advisor. And he or she says to you, this is what I think you should do and you just say, ok, what causes you to give up your power?
Suze: What causes you to make moves that are so radically wrong? And that will hurt you financially speaking, rather than help you?
Suze: Is it that you just want somebody else to take care of you? Is it because when you've been left, even if you have left someone you still want to be taken care of and you want to put your trust in the hands of somebody else that looks like they can take care of you.
Suze: I want you to be, what, what have I begged all of you to be over these years? How do we end every single podcast to be strong, safe and secure? But to do that, you have to have common sense. You cannot just take a financial advisor's word for anything.
Suze: If they tell you that you could simply put in $15,000 a year for 20 years and then you would have $1 million. Can you just simply do the math? Can you do the math and see if that is even possible? How much would your money have to earn per year for you to have $1 million
Suze: after 20 years?
Suze: But no, you don't. You just sit there and go, ok, I'll give you $15,000 a year. Ok, I'll do this. Ok, I'll do that
Suze: I am telling you, you have more common sense within your body seriously, within your being than you have any idea.
Suze: If you would just simply be willing to take the time to go within
Suze: to ask questions to look at it on paper and say to the financial advisor. Ok, I hear that this is what you say I'll have. Show me where it says I'm guaranteed to have this
Suze: show me,
Suze: show me. But you don't,
Suze: you don't.
Suze: You continue to go into another relationship with blinders on feeling like, ok, I'll just do this. It'll be OK.
Suze: I need you to come from this day forward from a place of common sense.
Suze: I need you to come from this day forward to understand that your words and your thoughts are more powerful than you have any idea.
Suze: They have the power to create or the power to destroy. And the choice is up to you. When you say you can't, you never ever will.
Suze: When you say you're never gonna trust anybody ever again.
Suze: You never will.
Suze: When you say I am never going to be secure again, you never will
Suze: because your words are mantra.
Suze: Your words are what create your future. I've told you this before. I've told you be very, very careful about what you think because what you think you eventually say, be very careful about the words you use because your words become your actions, your actions become your habits and your habits become your destiny.
Suze: But yet I read it over and over and over again. And what you hear from me over and over again
Suze: are the words that I've just said is the other saying I have, which is to be a warrior and to not turn your back on the battlefield. And what is that battlefield? That battlefield is your life? You are fighting for your own freedom. You are fighting for financial security. You are fighting so that you can wake up one morning and feel true joy all over again.
Suze: And yet then what do you say to me? But Suze, I never want to be dependent on anybody again. I never want my kids to know what I'm going through. And I'm sitting there thinking to myself, why not?
Suze: You gave everything to those kids
Suze: and when you need help, what is it women? What is it mothers
Suze: that stop you from saying to your kids? I need help
Suze: I want your help.
Suze: Your role is not to just make sure that everybody else is ok. Your role in life is to make sure that you are ok.
Suze: You a vital human being, a mother, a sister,
Suze: a woman,
Suze: a woman.
Suze: And yet for some reason, you turn your back on yourself to make sure that everybody is still ok.
Suze: And when you use words like that,
Suze: when you don't want others to know the truth about what's going on in your life, do you think that you're hiding it from them? Do you think that they don't really know? Of course they do.
Suze: Of course they do.
Suze: And if they're your Children who really love you and you love them, they can feel your pain
Suze: and they want to help you, but yet you don't want them to help you,
Suze: you rather just break your back and mow this lawn of yours that is taking all weekend after you're working three jobs and you're working 20 hours a day and yet you still have to mow your grass and you still have to do this and you don't want to ask anybody for help. What is the matter with all of you? So I'm angry,
Suze: I'm angry because I know what's possible. I even know what's probable. I've seen thousands of people turn their lives around.
Suze: But those are people who are willing to use words of hope,
Suze: have feelings of encouragement to not sit there and dwell in anger,
Suze: dwell in fear and dwell in shame,
Suze: which always brings me back to the three internal obstacles to wealth which are fear, shame and anger.
Suze: And yet you choose, you choose to turn to that
Suze: versus to turn in you and understand that everything that happens, everything is a blessing.
Suze: And I know that's not easy to say or easy to believe
Suze: that you have to because what is your alternative? What else can you think? What else can you do?
Suze: So this isn't a long podcast today and I'm sure this isn't one that you expected to tune into.
Suze: This isn't even one that I expected to do.
Suze: But I know that when I feel like this,
Suze: it's because not that I'm disappointed in you,
Suze: but it's because I know what's possible for you. And I see many of you turning your back,
Suze: your thoughts, your feelings on the probability of true happiness
Suze: of one day being able to say,
Suze: oh my God, thank God. He left me
Suze: or even thank God, she left me
Suze: or thank God, I had the courage to leave.
Suze: So I do this podcast in so much love for every single one of you
Suze: in the desire that every single one of you lives your most fullest life a life when you wake up in the morning where you're happy to wake up, you're happy to go to sleep. You're happy to see people. You are just happy and you feel fulfilled with every breath that you take
Suze: and how does that happen?
Suze: It happens by making sure that every thought, every action, everything that you do passes through the three gatekeepers that I've talked to you about. Is it kind, is it necessary? Is it true?
Suze: Are you doing that or are you just finding it easier to dwell in your anger
Suze: to reside in your fear
Suze: and to really just sit in your shame.
Suze: I am begging you.
Suze: I am begging you to have faith
Suze: that there is a life out there that is just waiting for you to live it.
Suze: But you have to have faith that you're gonna get through this time.
Suze: You have to really believe from the deepest part of your core
Suze: that you can and will do anything
Suze: that you will not just survive. You will thrive, you will once again live the life that you've always dreamed of living.
Suze: But you can't live a life of dreams when you're spending your time creating nightmares in your thoughts.
Suze: So very unexpected podcast from me.
Suze: I hope it's one that you're sitting there going. What the heck was that?
Suze: Maybe you're one of the people that needed to hear what I just said.
Suze: Maybe you're not. Maybe you know somebody however who is in that situation and they need to hear these words.
Suze: So maybe you could ask them to listen to this podcast.
Suze: Always know that every single word, whether it sounds harsh, whether it sounds angry, whether it sounds whatever that I'm giving to Suze Slap down is grounded in the most incredible love, hope
Suze: and joy in what's possible for every single one of you.
Music: Music (out).
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