May 09, 2022
Listen to Podcast Episode:
On the day of the Super Bowl, Suze talks about the importance of rising above your own limitations and living a life you love. Plus, it’s time for a new theme song.
Hi, everybody, Suze O. here and it is February 2, 2020. Today is the Super Bowl, and it's the Super Bowl here in Miami. And to say that Miami is crazy right now is putting it mildly. But it's really an incredible thing to see everybody so excited, like so much life. Everybody is just thrilled at a football game. Now, I don't know if I'm thrilled about the football game. I actually think I'm more thrilled about watching J.Lo perform today than anything. I am not going to physically be there, but I will certainly be watching it on television. And the reason that I am so excited about this particular Super Bowl, and in case you're wondering who I hope wins, not that it matters, I want the San Francisco 49ers to win. And why is that? Besides the fact that I spent 23 years living in the San Francisco area, this is a really incredible Super Bowl. And the reason that I think it is so incredible is that this is the first time in history a woman, a woman, is an assistant offensive coach to the 49ers and her name is Katie Sours. Now that may not seem like a big deal, but that is a big deal. A woman, a woman assistant coach. It doesn't matter that she's an assistant coach, she is a coach for the 49ers and they are in the Super Bowl. And why, why does that mean so much to me? Why does that excite me? Because she's the first one and it only takes one. It only takes one to open up the door. It only takes one for others to take a look and go, oh, my God, she can do it, I can do it.And the whole goal of the Women and Money podcast is especially for the women listening, is that you can do it, you can do anything. How many thousands of emails have I gotten now since we started the Women and Money podcast where you write to me and you say Suze, I'm getting divorced. Suze, I lost my spouse. Suze, I have to start over, I don't think I could do it, I'm so afraid, all the odds are against me. I've never worked, Suze. I don't know how to invest, I don't know how to manage money, I can't do this, I don't want to do this. Oh, my god, Suze, please help me and da-da-da-da.And yet against all odds, a woman, a woman and a gay woman at that. Now, why does it make a difference that she's a gay woman? Because she has minority labels going for her, really. So, against all odds, a woman is the assistant offensive coach for the Super Bowl team, the 49ers. I love that, I love that. So if she can do that, there isn't anybody out there, anybody listening, that if you just set your mind on something, you can do it as well. You just have to believe in yourself. And no matter what the world throws at you, you have to believe that you will rise above it and that you can live a life that you love. You really just have to start telling yourself that you're not going to back down. You have to say, OK, enough is enough and I'm not going to give up. Now, why did I just choose all these words to use? Well, I will tell you. Since today is Super Bowl Sunday, I think it's just an appropriate time since this is a first, it's a first for the Super Bowl. I think it is time that the Women and Money podcast changed their theme song. As you know, forever, we've had a theme song that a lot of you really love. But it's time now, rather than rising together because we're rising together, all of us now need to rise above. We need to rise above our problems, we need to rise above our obstacles, rise above all of those who are saying to us we can't, especially ourselves. We have to rise above our doubts rise above our fears, and I decided we needed a new theme song that helps us rise above. So once again, Effie, sang our last theme song, and Effie is now going to sing our new theme song. And here are the words.I tell myself I won't back down. We said enough's enough! We can't give up and no matter what the world throws at us we will rise above and live a life we love. If we just believe it will set us free, we will rise above and live a life we love. Ready to hear it? Here we go.I hope that song starts to grow on you. I hope it takes you to the next place in your journey, the next step so that really all of us can rise above all the craziness, all the craziness that is going on in this world. And if you ask me, it is really, really crazy. But for today's podcast, besides introducing you to my new theme song and very shortly, you'll be able to get the entire thing on Spotify is called "Rise Above" by Effie.Um, I want to read an email I got and I got this email from a man. And you know, sometimes most of the emails that I read are from women. But I wanted to read this one because this one is also about rising above your own limitations, your limitations of how you see something. So, this is from R.J., and here's what R.J. says.He says hi Suze. I'm certainly planning to watch your PBS special that is coming up. I wrote to you for two reasons. The first reason is to let you know that at least one man is still listening to you and wants to hear what you have to say. Second, your podcast episode that you described your trip to see Oprah made me think a little about what you said regarding living below your means. That is probably a good philosophy that people should follow. But when I heard your examples regarding your 20-year-old earings and more than 10-year-old necklace, I am wondering if that is a bit too extreme because I know that you live on an island and that you have other houses? You also spend time fishing, which is not cheap. I totally understand what you were trying to tell people because there are too many people who spend too much money. But I think there are two things to consider with "live below your means." The most important word is "live." What good is it to save a lot of money when you don't enjoy life? Different people certainly enjoy different things, so when you spend money to go fishing or buying a house on an island. You are living your life, and you have the means to do so. Some people might enjoy wearing nice, expensive earrings or necklaces. No one should judge others when they buy things that you think are useless. If you have the money, buying what you want shouldn't be a problem, should it? But then R.J. goes on to say just a little more, and he says this. In the past several years I lost my brother, my partner of 30 years, and last year I lost my sister. So people who were in my family are all gone. I don't have any children and I retired last year. I still have a habit of not spending on things that I shouldn't, but I am beginning to learn to relax a bit. I am certainly going to look at my budget first, and if I can afford it, I will buy things even though they are not needed. Why not? Who am I going to save my money for? We all need to live a little. I certainly do not want to save a lot of money for other people to spend it for me. I think learning to live might be more important after someone retires than learning to save all the time. I am not saying that people should go crazy and spend their money needlessly, but if you can afford to have an expensive car, why buy just a regular car if you are into a car? If you can afford to fly first class, why fly the economy class? Sincerely, R.J. The reason that I wanted to read that email to you is that one really has to understand the role that money plays in life. And you know that you've heard me say on the Women and Money podcast, as well as the men smart enough to listen, that the goal of money is for you to be secure. When you see me wearing earrings that are over 20 years old now and they're my only pair of earrings, it's not that I wear them to save money. I wear them because I love them. I love them because the woman who made them for me was a very special woman to me, and she died very shortly after making me these earrings, so I don't want to wear another pair of earrings. I don't care how much money I have. Just because you have money doesn't mean you need to spend it. So, when you see me wearing the same earrings, when you see me wearing the same necklace, the necklace that was given to me in 1993 by a woman in India who is considered a living saint there, who took it off of her neck and put it around mine and said to me, Suze, don't ever take this off, it will protect you. And if you ever look in any picture of me, you will see that necklace and the item, and you will see that it is a 16 petal lotus with an upside-down triangle in it. And it is that particular symbol that represents the fifth chakra, as you know, we have seven chakras. It represents the fifth chakra which is the throat chakra. And my throat needs serious protecting. I'm sure at times you will notice that my voice sounds good, sounds bad, it can sound all over the place. But I think I've told you this before on the Women and Money podcast, maybe the past eight, maybe 10 years now, my esophagus doesn't work. It doesn't move, I have no mobility in it. And half the times I spasm and I cannot speak. So one of my greatest fears in life is having to get up on a stage in front of tens of thousands of people and talk, or go on live television. Suze Orman, who makes her career speaking in front of people, speaking on this podcast, and you have no idea, everybody, how many times I have to stop and start and edit it out when I'm coughing or I'm choking or whatever. And yet, I face my fear and somehow every time I'm on the live television show or every time I'm in front of people speaking, even my PBS special, which, by the way, airs nationwide February 29th. The book, The Ultimate Retirement Guide, comes out on February 25th. It's already doing extremely well on Amazon. Somehow, it works. So, I face my fears all the time. But they're certain things around me that help me get through that have nothing to do with money, R.J., nothing to do with money. When I have that thing on my neck, when it's there, sometimes I just touch it and remind myself I can do it, I can do it. This woman said it will protect me and to never take it off. And I find that fascinating. Somehow, she knew that long, long time ago. She also was the woman before I ever had written one book, before I ever did anything who said to me, you know, Suze, you need to write many, many books and become like a professor. And she said to me one day, everybody will know your name. And so there are some people that you meet in life that just know things, that just really are like a vehicle, and that indeed she is. So what's important, though, to understand, is that things sometimes happen in life. And R.J. you lost your brother, your partner, your sister. And so now it's like, well, why shouldn't you spend your money? If you have money and you enjoy spending it, go ahead if you know that you have enough money and spend it on the things that you enjoy. But you know what I have found? That once you have a serious sum of money, you really don't care about buying those things that you always wanted. Buying a new car, buying this, buying this fancy thing. You just don't care. I have been looking for a new boat, and again, I may have told you this so I'm sorry if I'm repeating myself, but I love the boat that I have. And so why have I been looking for a new boat? Because it's kind of what you do. You buy a boat, in three or four years into your boat you get a new boat because that's what everybody does. Nobody keeps their boat when they have a lot of money and they want to buy a new boat. But I love my boat, so I am keeping my boat. I love my car, so I am keeping my car. And it's not that I don't spend money. I spend money on things that I love to do, and I do love to fish, but I don't spend money on things that I don't love. And it's the little things that give us such joy, R.J. Like yesterday, KT and I went out fishing and we caught four Wahoos. I only wish I could show you pictures through this podcast, but as I've always told you, it is a big deal to catch a Wahoo. And we had seen some of the Islanders that when they catch a fish, they actually take the parts of the fish which aren't edible, and they grind them up in order to make chum so that when you go fishing for another kind of fish, like a yellowtail, that you have something that attracts them. And KT and I always have just gone in the store, and we pay $12 and buy a chunk of chum and we go out yellow-tailing. Well, today we spent maybe an hour and a half or two hours grinding up the fish from the wahoo that we normally just throw away or give to the Islanders, and we made our own chum. And I can't tell you how much we loved that, we were so proud of ourselves. So, when I say live below your means, hopefully, you have more than enough means to do anything in the world that you could ever want but still live within your needs. So, R.J., you asked me what good is it to save a lot of money but you don't enjoy life? What does one thing have to do with another? I know people who do not have a pot to pee in and they love every single second of their life. Why would you possibly think that enjoying your life and money are one and the same? They're not. I know billionaires who hate their lives. Oh, you think if you just had money, you would be happy and that not having money is the reason that you're not enjoying life. And then all of a sudden you have money and you're still not enjoying life, and now you really don't know what to do because you thought not having money was why you were miserable. Your life and your money are one because you are your money and your money is you. And won something, something needs to be taught to you, it's usually taught to via your money. So, if you have all of this money and you're still not enjoying life, what that is telling you is you're not enjoying who you are, and it has nothing to do with money. And you could go out R.J., and you could buy 10 new cars and you could buy five new houses and you could do all of that. You still won't be enjoying your life. And you say to me, "no one should judge others when they buy things that you think are useless." I've never said that R.J., I've never said that. "If you have the money, buying what you want shouldn't be a problem, should it?" No. If you have the money, buying what you want shouldn't be a problem. In answering this question, here's just what I want to say to you. Is that your loss really has nothing to do with money, my friend. It has to do with the loss of your brother, your partner and now your sister. And now your family is gone. So what good is it? Who's the money for anyway? I just want to say this to you, and there are many people in this world that need all of our help more than you have any idea, and there will be people in this world who, for whatever reason, will never have money and will suffer and will always need to be helped. I don't know. I just think it's a great thing that if you happen to have more money than you need, and then when you die, you leave it, not to people, individuals, if you don't have anybody. But you leave it to charities that really, really need it. Charities that support others, like St. Jude. Charities that lift others up that can't lift themselves up. So you can do whatever you want, R.J. with your money. You need to always know that I'm never judging what people do or don't do with their money. What I'm asking them to do is just think about it so that they can live the life they deserve to live later on. That's all. And as far as everybody else, this is our time. This is really our time to lift others up and to really go for it in our own lives. Let's honor and remember Katie Sours and the Super Bowl, and that it really only takes one, and really, that one can absolutely be you.