Podcast Episode - Ask KT & Suze Anything: Should I Tell My Friend I Think She Spends Too Much Money?

On this Ask Suze & KT Anything episode, KT asks Suze your questions about giving property to children, using an inheritance to pay off debt, is now the right time to buy a used car and so much more.

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Podcast Transcript:

Suze: July 31st, can you believe it? July 31st. That means tomorrow is what? Lobster season opens.

KT: Lobster season. August 1st,

Suze: Right in the Bahamas here. But there is one more thing that is for everywhere in the United States, and that's as of today, that Suze Special rate for the 12-month certificate at Alliant Credit Union has gone away. Didn't I tell you that rates were going to go down? So the new rate for the 12-month certificate is 4.0% APY, 4.05% APY for amounts of $75,000 or more. But go to myalliant.com and check it out.

But anyway, July 31st, 2025. Welcome everybody to the what, KT?

KT: Ask KT and Suze Anything podcast.

Suze: Since when? I want to know, did KT in this announcement start coming...

KT: Because I'm the one that actually runs this podcast on Thursdays. Suze School is all yours.

Suze: Run it right into the ground.

KT: What are you talking about?

Suze: I produced this Thursday podcast. I pick the questions. I read them. I decide which ones are better than others. It's my podcast on Thursday. Ask KT and Suze Anything, and KT will ask Suze what she said.

Suze: All right, sorry, I even brought this up. KT, what do you have for us?

KT: OK, my first question's really great. It's from Stacy. And it's a dilemma that she's in, and I'm curious to see what your answer will be. She said, Hi Suze, I need your help with what to do. I am one out of four girls in our family. My sisters are all married and have their own homes. In 2022, I moved back home with Mom in the house I grew up in. She is 88 and my sisters felt it best for Mom that I lived there since I'm not married and I have more flexibility to help Mom. We cook, we clean, we garden together. I appreciate every day the Lord gives me with my mom. She's relatively healthy, but at times her memory gets the best of her.

And then this is the part that she needs your help. Mom shared with my siblings of her wish to leave her home to me. I'm 60 years old, divorced, and I do not own any properties.

I shared with Mom that I'd like to accept her generous offer and would like to fix up the cabin now and bring all the family together, but I feel reluctant to invest money in fixing it up for fear one of my sisters feels it's unfair that Mom wants to give it to me and may cause a problem later. Later she means after Mom's gone.

Is it unfair for me to accept from Mom? Should I offer them some money so there isn't an uncomfortable wedge between us?

Suze: So Stacy, listen. Right now you're spinning. KT knows what that means. Every once in a while, what do I do with you?

KT: Stop spinning, KT. Stop spinning. Stop spinning.

Suze: Because I bring up a topic about something that may happen and KT goes, on and on.

KT: I elaborate. What if, what if, what if, what if.

Suze: Not what if. We don't care about what if. We care about what is. What is the truth. So rather than investing money, so you can bring all the family together, you need to bring the family together now.

You need to ask everybody how they feel now, but not just in words. If everybody agrees with yes, they want you to have the home. Yes, you can have the home under whatever conditions it is that it's established. You should do a contract.

Where they all put it in writing because it's one thing to say, it's OK, not a big deal. And then five years later something happens to Mom and one of the sisters has fallen on hard times and now she doesn't feel that same way. And probably the trust says all of you are to get it, so I think what's really important is that you really commit everything to writing. You find out how the sisters feel about it now, and don't be upset if one of them doesn't want that to happen because you know you may think they're all doing OK, but you never know what's really going on behind closed doors, all right, just so you know.

So bring them all together while Mom is still here. Discuss it. Ask them if you could buy them out, whatever it may be. Maybe, you know, you just have to think about that. So maybe Mom does a quitclaim deed to you that you wait till Mom actually dies to then file.

It's just important that you get this all right, and you might even want to work with an attorney on this, believe it or not, just to make sure that it's 100% legal, clear, and nobody can dispute it later on. Next question, KT.

KT: OK, next question is from Andrea.

Suze: Was that hard KT? You had a little pause there.

KT: She said, Dear Suze, and of course KT — KT, we know it's your podcast.

Suze: Because this podcast on Thursdays would not exist without KT.

KT: I have a 403B with Lincoln Financial, and I took my first RMD this year. Lincoln will only send a check through the mail. I feel the mail's unreliable, so I called Lincoln to find out if they could electronically send me the money to my bank account, and they said no, they can't. So I called the person I deal with at the university. He spoke to the account manager at Lincoln who then directed him to send me a form that is titled Requesting a Distribution. On the form, it clearly says, do not use this form for automatic RMD withdrawals. I called Lincoln to question them about the form and I'm told not to use the form for RMDs, and the account manager says to use it. Suze, is there a difference between requesting a distribution versus an RMD?

Suze: There is because remember your RMDs are going to change all the time every year. And so normally when you just request a distribution, it's like send me X amount of money every single month. That's easy. But with an RMD it's based on number one, your age and the account value at December 31st of the year prior to you taking your RMDs. It becomes very complicated, so they are figuring it as time goes on. So that's just how they need to do it. Now, you might want to call Lincoln and say you are more than happy to pay for them to FedEx it to you or when they mail it to you, make it certified mail, but I think you're fine the way it is. You know, it's just if you live in a neighborhood where you're afraid that people are going to steal your mail or anything, get a post office box or something that somebody can't break into, but yeah, there is a difference just so you know.

KT: Suze, next question is “to help or not to—”

Suze: Don't do it, don't do it, don't help, don't help, don't help. If you even have to ask the question, don't do it.

KT: To help or not. Hello ladies, is it appropriate to speak with a long time friend about my concerns that she is spending too much money and racking up debt? And then just to clarify, she said, no, it's not me, because a lot of people ask a question about their friend, and it's really them, but this isn't, this is really her friend. She said she's in a tremendous amount of debt and is spending money like crazy. She seems to be thinking of ways to spend more. She told me her only child doesn't want her house, things, or money, so she is going for it. I don't think she has emergency savings, and I believe her home equity is maxed out by mortgages. She does have two lifetime income streams, but I think she's living paycheck to paycheck on those. I'm worried she'll exhaust her resources and have nothing for her care if she needs it. According to my friend, her daughter is indifferent to her spending, likely because the daughter knows she won't inherit Mom's debt. Obviously there's a larger story to all of this, but the simple short question is, is it taboo to broach the subject, or should I just keep quiet and let it go?

Suze: You probably should. But tread carefully. Ask gently: “Are you OK? I’m worried.” If she says she’s fine—maybe relate it to your own worries first, instead of judging hers. That may open the door. But Rosa, you mention there’s a ‘larger story.’ Consider that seriously before saying anything. It might be emotional spending, revenge spending. Choose your words wisely.

KT: I can guess.

KT: OK, from Laura. Hi, Suze and KT, I love your show. Quick question. I love this Laura. Quick question. I will need a used car with low mileage in the next year or two. Should I wait or buy now to avoid potential increases in cost due to tariffs and other variables?

Thank you for all you do. Laura is a retired teacher and now she said a student of Suze.

Suze: You have a look like you want to answer this question, KT. So since this is your show, you answer her.

KT: No, Laura, I think what you're asking is if you recall not too long ago there was a surge in used car prices. Suze and I were even considering selling our 10-year-plus car because we knew we could get a huge amount of money for it — 13 years, and Suze loves that little car — but I said maybe we should sell it because we'd get so much for it.

And now I don't know what the tariffs are gonna do. I don't know. It looks like prices will continue to go up in manufacturing because of all the parts and everything they're bringing in.

Suze: So maybe the answer is yes, do it now, and I agree with that. All right, go on.

KT: OK, my final question, Suze. This is from Cynthia. I will be 39 next month. My wife and I have two small children, two and eight, who we would like to create separate accounts for to help them secure their financial futures. I'm not sure—

KT: I know. I said the same thing when I read this. I went, Why not you?

KT: I am not sure if we should open a separate high yield savings account for them, a brokerage account, or some type of other account. A brokerage account may yield them the greatest amount over their lifetimes, but they would need to pay hefty taxes on the gift when they sell their positions. Wait, we're talking about a two year old and an eight year old, everybody. I want them to grow their money. I don't want the unintended consequence of saddling them with a tax nightmare. I'm eager to know what you recommend, and I appreciate your guidance.

Suze: All right, well, if you don't want to saddle them with a tax nightmare — although I don't think you would — right, you might as well saddle yourself with one. And what I mean by that is, listen, over all the years that I've been doing this, which is almost 40 years now. In fact, it is 40 years, right?

I have seen this situation way too many times. I'm so sorry to say, where little Johnny Angel was so sweet. “I love you, I love you mommy,” da da da da. Turns out to be Johnny Devil.

In that they get older, you never know what will happen to them. They get involved with the wrong people. They now have money and they use that money for drugs, and you feel horrific because you were the ones who supplied them with that money. Remember, when you put it in their name, you have to create a Uniform Gift to Minors Act or trust account for them, which means at the age of 18 or 21, it is their money.

And there is nothing you can do about it. So if all of a sudden they want that money to go buy a car, to do this, to do that, they don't want to go to school, they don't want anything because they have enough money right now. You're going to be so sad that you did that. Just put away an account in your name.

Where you know it is for them, you pay the taxes on it since you don't want to saddle them with it. You make sure everything is OK that way. And as they get older, remember, like this year you could give them $19,000 totally tax free to them. So what might happen years from now if you get this money to grow and keep two separate accounts, one for one and one for the other, so you don't mix them.

When it comes time and you want to give them the money for something that makes sense, then hey, you can cash out what you have. You can pay the taxes on it, and you could be gifting it to them over time, or you just gift it to them and take it off your unified credit. So that's how I would do it. Also remember when you put money in a child's name, it hurts them for financial aid because it counts for more in their name than it does when it's in your name when you want aid. So I wouldn't be putting it in their names right now unless you want to put it in a 529 plan for their college education, but somehow I feel like you want them to have money outside of college as well.

KT: All right, Suze, that's it, huh?

Suze: That is a wrap.

KT: End of July, you believe it's over already? The month.

Suze: August is coming.

KT: August is tomorrow.

Suze: And then September.

KT: We have an exciting date in September. Don't share it yet. Wait, we'll keep it a surprise. We have a great date we have planned for Labor Day weekend and she'll share it with you at the end of August before it becomes September, and we can't wait to do that. We can't wait for that date.

Suze: It's actually not that exciting.

KT: It is exciting. Don't tell them. It is exciting.

Suze: It's not that big...

KT: It's a bucket list. It's one of my bucket lists for my whole life with you.

Suze: Oh, so that's why it's exciting. Oh, all right, I'll wait till then to tell you. Right now this coming Sunday, you really have to make sure that you listen to the podcast because I'm going to continue on with things you need to know about the BBB, the Big Beautiful Bill. And this one's really gonna focus on student loans and what you need to know about them. So really don't miss it. KT, take us out, baby dolls...

KT: There is one thing we want you to remember, and that is this year is the year that you will make your money, make more money.

Suze: And the way that you do that, by the way. Always remember people first, then money, then things. Now you stay safe.

KT: Love ya!

Suze: Bye bye.

Suze: What do you guess.

KT: I can guess it. There's a little signal in there what you can guess. She says, "I'm going for it." That sounds like revenge spending, doesn't it? Come on, you have to admit "I'm going for it."

Suze: So if in fact she's going for it because of either a divorce or whatever it's like then what you have to do, Rosa, is say, "Who do you think you're hurting by spending all your money? You think you're hurting this person, you're being an idiot," and you know, just be straight with them, but take it very carefully. All right, go on.

KT: OK, next is from Kristen. Hello, Suze. I'm a special education teacher. I'm in the process of getting a divorce. I have two teenage children, 11th and 9th grade. I have credit card debt of $18,000 which I thought my soon to be ex was paying while we were married. The credit card— I know the credit card is in my name, but it was used for family expenses and trips. My mom passed away last year, and I just found out I will receive $4,000 from her estate. I want to use the money wisely, begin to get my life financially back on track. Please advise on what I should do.

Suze: See, this is a hard one, because she wants to probably close the credit card, but you can't close a credit card when you still owe money on it.

KT: Can she stop him from...

Suze: I would if I were you, if the credit card is just in your name you probably made him an authorized user on that card. You need to talk to that credit card company and if I were you, I would ask them to either stop his being able to use it. Number one, I'm not sure he's still using it, right, but to just make sure that his name is off of it. And or just transfer it to another credit card meaning either do a credit card balance transfer to just your name without him even knowing you've done that just to protect his use of it. However, this is your responsibility. He is your soon to be ex. Now I don't know how you are going to get divorced or not. But when you go to divorce court, maybe he can be responsible for a lot of that credit card debt just so you know. So don't just give up on it whatsoever. You're in the process of getting a divorce. That credit card debt needs to be part of the divorce settlement. Just that simple. For now, believe it or not, I would just keep that $4,000 in an individual account in your name, making interest and just wait until your divorce is final to make decisions what you do with that money. That's what I would be doing.

KT: OK, that's good advice.

Suze: This is a hard one, but I would keep that credit card debt there. And make it part of the divorce.

KT: I mean, it'd be great if they were both 50/50 responsible — that would cut it right in half, and then the $4,000 against her half would even make it manageable, very manageable, right?

Suze: But even though it's just in her name, so they may say, hey, wait a minute, but if it was used for family expenses and trips and she can prove it, they may make it half his as well.

KT: She thought he was paying it off.

Suze: What are you crazy?

KT: She should have known that it wasn't paid off. Open the mail, everybody, like I do.

KT: All right, next question from Joan. Hi, Suze, you're the best.

KT: I tell her that all the time, Joan. I have your ultimate—

Suze: What makes me the best?

KT: Oh, there's too many things that make you the best. One day I'll list it. I'll list all the best.

Suze: Tell me one.

KT: Your happiness and joy number is my number one. You're a happy and joyful person. You're not a depressed person. You're very happy and you're very positive, and you always, always, she has a great amount of faith, everybody — always believes that whatever happens, God does but for a reason. So you're very happy. That's one of my number ones.

Suze: I'm just curious.

KT: And she always says to me every morning, Hi KT, like it's the first time she met me. 25 years later, every morning, “Hi KT” when I wake up.

Suze: I am staying in bed longer than KT. Have you noticed?

KT: She sleeps in a little bit, that's a sign of, you know what...

Suze: That means I sleep in, 'till like 6:30 versus 5 o'clock.

KT: This is from Joan. Hi, Suze. You are the best. I have your Ultimate Retirement Guide on audio and the revised and updated in soft cover. Love the podcast. My sister asked me why she would need a trust because she doesn't have any children. She and her husband have all the other must-have documents. I've reread the section on trust, but I still don't have an answer for her.

Suze: I don't know what you mean when you say she has all the other must-have documents. So let's just say, Joan's sister, you own a home and you own it in joint tenancy with right of survivorship with your husband, thinking, oh, you've covered it. Everything is great.

You die. It automatically goes to him. He dies. It automatically goes to you. But here is the question you all have to always ask yourself. What if you don't die?

What if you become incapacitated? You're walking down the street. You slip on ice, you hit your head. You don't know who anybody is. You're in a car accident. Anything can happen at any time. Therefore, all right, your husband becomes incapacitated, and you live in a house that has two stories, and you need to make a move so it's easier on you and you have a one story house. The question is, can you sell it?

Can you?

You say you have everything in order, and the answer is no, you cannot because it takes two signatures of both of you to sell that home because it's owned in joint tenancy with right of survivorship.

If your husband cannot sign because he's incapacitated, you then have to go down to what? The court. Go through probate court, get a conservatorship assigned to him, and from that point on, now you have the ability to sign for him. Now you may think everything's great. You have power of attorney, however, most power of attorneys become null and void the day that there's an incapacity. Number two, banks don't like dealing with power of attorneys because many of them are old. They don't know if they're still valid. They don't know if they've been updated or changed. They don't like that. But when you own something in trust, you have the right immediately if the trust has an incapacity clause in it — which the must have documents do. You can sign for him. He could sign for you, and if something happens to both of you at the same time — you're in a car accident and now neither of you are capable of doing anything — you can name friends or people that you trust or even a professional trustee to come in and make sure that you are OK. So that is the answer to the question. Next, KT.