Suze Orman TwitterSuze Orman FacebookSuze Orman YouTubeSuze Orman LinkedIn
View Blog & News List

Karma Is Not A Negotiating Tool

October 15, 2014 at 10:45 AM

I am a big believer in karma. But to suggest that good karma should be the lynchpin of managing your career is not just wrong, but dangerous.

Yet that’s what Satya Nadella, the chief executive officer of Microsoft offered up as advice to working women at a recent women’s conference: “It’s not really about asking for the raise, but knowing and having faith that the system will actually give you the right raises as you go along,” said Nadella. “That’s good karma. It will come back. That’s the kind of person that I want to trust, that I want to give more responsibility to.”

I couldn’t disagree more. Yet in a perverse way I am glad Mr. Nadella brought this issue into the spotlight. That the chief executive of the 34th largest company in the Fortune 500- with profits of nearly $22 billion on revenue of more than $78 billion-said this should be a wake up call to every woman. This was not some outlier start-up entrepreneur looking to provoke. 

Yes, Mr. Nadella backtracked as quickly as the backlash began, but it would be wise for every woman to take Mr. Nadella at his original word. The fact is, whether an explicit strategy or implicit assumption, management preys on women’s propensity to not negotiate, to be consummate team players, to be passive.

One telling academic study reported that women equate a salary negotiation on par with the uncomfortable-and sometimes painful-experience of a trip to the dentist. In the same study men viewed salary negotiation as a game to be won. Okay, so it’s not typically in our DNA. That just means having to make a conscious effort to override what does not come naturally. 

To suggest that good karma is all women need only fuels this this dangerous mindset. It plays into what I see so women hope to be true: that their good nature, get-along, consensus-building nature will be rewarded without asking. That’s naïve. We’re still dealing with a gender pay gap across diverse professions that often has women working at a discount of 20%-30% less than what their male colleagues earn.

So much for karma as a negotiating tool.

Karma Is Not A Negotiating Tool

Mr. Nadella has since communicated to Microsoft employees that he got it wrong. His advice: “If you think you deserve a raise, you should just ask.” In a vacuum that advice is fine. Rather than wait for karma to get your manager to acknowledge your contributions and value, be proactive. The problem in all too many offices is that being your own best advocate often gets women labeled as agitators or pushy. Or, yes, bossy.

And then there’s the art of asking; something women also tend to struggle with. “Can I have a raise?” or “I deserve a raise” or “I am overdue for a raise,” is not the way to go. Where’s the power in that? Ask for a meeting to discuss your compensation; get it on the schedule. This is not some “oh by the way” item you mention at the end of a meeting. In advance of the meeting prepare a one-page list of what you have accomplished. Be as specific as possible. Run through the deliverables you nailed and goals you met (and exceeded.) Then in the meeting you do no ask for a raise. You state your case: “I deserve a raise of at least X.” The phrase “at least” is crucial. You have just set expectations and your floor. You are negotiating from a position of confidence and power. That is going to pay off.

Tag Cloud

one credit cardiffy incomehealthy retirement weightletter to suzecompare provider pricing8 month safety netteens and money40% toward financial goalmortgagemoney vowscar leasingadd teengift not loanfocus on needsincreased auto insurance premiumGifteight month living expense setup automatic savings withdrawbudget20% down payment avoid feeswould you decline a bonusinterest capitalizationno apologylong term caremonthly dental insurance premiumteensignore 6 month grace period University of Floridadoctors in networkBeautyunsubsidized Stafford loancredit cardbad decisionspay down car loanlower premiumreplace permanent life insurance with termMarlo Thomasno life insurance financially irresponsible20 year level term Save Us Moneydon't extend mortgage buy home you can affordstrained relationshippush yourself to save more for retirementavoid burn outtitle insuranceschedule vacationAuto Savings approved medical 100% tax-freePhyllis Shelton expert long-term careEmployer Matched Contribution740 credit scoreOverspendingUS Tax Codedon't ignore open enrollmentreferrals 3 step financial road mapbest loan deal get over life insurance phobiaautomate student loan paymentslow down paymentchildren under 18cut monthly cellular billcredit utilization ratecontribute household expenses MoneyCredit Card Interest Rateemployer funding HSAultimate compounding giftheartachereduce monthly paymentmoney-aware child15-year refinance dealtoo expensive schoolmultiple lendersbill paying prioritiesNewtownpowerfulraise your deductibleinsurance yearly reviewsame-sex marriageno sneaking in feesdon't blow tax refundBill and PennyPrime Rate IncreaseWillEmergency Savingspremiumretirement plannew carpaid vacationCNBChealthy aging Financial EducatorHDHP's are good for yousummer job match income high FICO scoregift up to 14,000yours, mine & oursfinancial argumentslong-term care comparison shoppinglow credit scorePost-DivorceFixed Rate Mortgagehome related tax break bonus no waiting periodFinancialHoliday Seasonhousing marketOne Wallet At A Timeorigination feesfinancial goal phraseCOLAborrowing plan Financial CliffForbes Top 10file taxes quicklyswitch to spouse coverageprotect your familyFinal Goodbye6 month waiting periodrequired disclosureprotect dependent speak new goalStaffords this year have a fixed 6.8% interest rateresponsiblenot enough life insurancebetter termsconsider roth 401(k)Veterinary Schoolstretch out haircut appointmentsfull retirement agehome buying seasonsocial security never insolventbest interest ratescredit managementTelepicturesmental healthvalentines dayjuggle multiple financial goalscredit reportCommunication Skills big results taxespay more than minimumderailed planbe true to yourselfcan you afford itrollover2016 adjust withholdingGiftscostly legal 401(k) ContributionsFederal Stafford loanreduce withholdinglong-term care premiumsno negativityfinancial aidterm insuranceFinancial Advice!00% tuition paidlet them have 50% controlfamily save at least $100 monthlyroth iracommitis it necessarySuze is my biggest mentorLTCi ASAPFinancial Awarenessdon't cover cosmetic dentistrylow mileage discountLong Term Care premiumsLong Term Care Insurance graduationFinancial Solutions For Yoube kind to yourselfincrease retirement savingsspecial saving account2015 record year car salesYoung Adult Influential Celebritycollege studentplandon't buy wantsSatisfyingCredit Card Rate IncreaseretirementFinancial Awareness Video Festivalsave moneybecome member Long Term Care shoppingget the most out of social security Student Debtfederal student loan deferment interest on student loansbetter loan ratesAARPAmy Lacyetreduce interest rateUniversity of Illinoisemployer offered life insurancesmall changes Roth 401(k)financial independencenear historic lowsincrease emergency savingssocial security not going brokecompare monthly expensesoverspend on dining out10% donate to charitydream schoolmortgage disclosureInfluentialsfinancial concernretain separate credit cardsoverspend on giftspay off debtback door Roth IRAFHA loan feesleave a legacywomen live longer15 year mortgagelowest cost fund optioncontribution Credit scorerising home pricesno interestprovider of financial supporthighest possible benefitdental insurance prescription tierfinancial fearsbad retirement planningMortgage Credit Availability Index3 savings buckets Revocable TrustSuze Orman spouse Kathy Travisquick closingemergency fund retirment savingsis it necessary?alternative FICO scorelow-cost index mutual fundverify wellness screening and programswomen outlive menpay down student loan debtFICO at least 720television hostSelfishcollege graduateSuze Orman's Money WarsEasy Life Insurance fraudulent returnhealthy yousame sex marriage band end FloridaCivil Rightsdo you need life insurancepaid in fullclosing feesCiti Simplicity Card depreciating asset is it kind?dangerous money seasonloan necessitymeet monthly confident of solutionSuze Ormanovercome financial fearsSuze changed my lifesavings pleasureWashingtonSpendingfinancing car 3 bucket approachARMreal estate marketbreakdown projected monthly housing costincentives for health care wellness screeningpublic service career student loan repayment short term goal HDHP'speace of mindlower mortgage interestMoney-Savingclosing disclosurepay 100% cashdon't spend Lifestyleno splurge is it true? tax refund fraud20 to 25 times annual incomemax employer matched 401(k) contributionphysical healthadvice for college graduatesExhibitionHeartRetirement Incomecommunity bankraise insurance deductiblestudent loan repayment estimatorfour steps to retirement savings max benefit covereddeath benefit 20 to 25 times annual incomePrime Rate Rise 2015worst financial mistakeonly refinance if it paysHow To Build CreditNew american Dream protect loved ones long term goalwives should be involved in retirementzero rate transfer dealsFICO credit score credit card mortgageholiday spendingverify retirement plan with HR or plan sponsorschool HDHP mortgage interest tax deductionbalance transfer HSA tax savingsDurable Power of Attorney for Health Careloved ones dependent on incomesecured carddoctor no longer in networkget health insurancehealthy retirement blood pressurelearn good financial choicesdear suzeborrow each year, capitalization is going to pile up BankruptcyFree Debt Eliminatorno fee transferBankbuy down standard rateMust Have DocumentsMass Mutualitemized deductionInvest for savings growthonly offered while employed buy homeswitch to roth 401(k)emotional stakesmonthly benefit High Credit ScoreFederal Funds RateFRAsocial workinsuranceForeclosureSelectQuote.comUrbana-Champaignemergency fund savingsAARP Social security calculator4 Must Have Documents no private loanstudent20% down paymentlower overall drug costmanage student loans2016 adjust estimated taxAdequate Auto and Home Insurancepositivedon't do five year car loanCory Bookerstay positiverequire chore in exchange for allowancepercentage of women widowed 75-84age appropriate goalsHDHP/HSAdeath benefit needs for familyhigh down paymentFundsSuze approvedHDHP's are not badcnbc alarm clockloan no longer than 36monthsMost Influential Celebrities ListGracegrandparent IRA contribution 8 Rulesno private loansHolidayspring summer lower ratestudent loan repayment planautomatic withdraw to savings don't derail retirement savingsage appropriate chorebuying a carpurely financial standpointpresident Obamathree year car loanworkaholicPBS Specialfile asapSandy Hook Elementary Schoolpreexisting condition not coveredbe good exampleescrowidentity fraudtax ID theftstudent loan debtETF'snon conventional routetake actioncost of capitalization calculatorteach your child good money habitsSuze Orman ScholarshipLTC shoppingenjoy saving home buying budgetlive below your meanscommunity collegekeep a scheduleGay Couplescredit unioninitial tax break standard deduction open enrollment review grandchild summer job IRA contributionBaby Boomerslife insurance name trust as beneficiaryThe Suze Orman Showidentity theftfocus on new truth loan is giftat worst still pay 75% benefitForbesget credit card50 over 50Financial Gift Cliffjanuary billsproperty taxhome insuranceprotect and provide for minor child debtpaying for collegedon't defer interest paymentsJose RodriguezConventional loan PMIMoney Marketalways use all paid time offwomen longer life spanbetter loan dealskid borrow firstresponsible with moneyearn allowanceFinancial Power of Attorneymake saving a pleasurepay credit debt ASAPhome loan credit score below 740 mobile apprent vs buyHoliday ShoppingTeachraise deductiblesadult childrencreate new truthhigh deductible health care plan2017 Taxesstudent loan repaymentStudent Debt Crisisincrease retirement contribution rateFederal PLUS loancalculate dependents annual income needs30 year mortgage permanent life insurancedo not pay allowance for good behavior3% debt transferred Retirement SavingsMinor Children loan big picture one annual feedon't use allowance as bribeshorter payback periodLegal GuardianWall Streettraditional vs roth 401(k)max employee matchburn outGay RightsPersonal Financeritual schedulevalue moneyunder 18 financial giftanticipated salaryHigh FICO Score = Better Rateallowanceallowance taskdon't charge a pennypay interest while in schoolhigher monthly paymentpay high rate off firstmarriage inequalityAccuQuote.comoverspend on nights outclosing costs 2% of loanaffordability401Kuniversal college accessStudent LoanLovesuccesshome buying mistakesEric Dodge shop online guaranteed level term policyAmericans don't use all paid vacation timeteach importance of helping othersknow before you oweco-sign 8 month emergency fundrepay student loansstaycationno tax on withdrawlscar buying mistakesreal estate mistakeshigher insurance deductibleRichpoint cost offset by savingssidelinedinsurance mistakebuying car 2016savingsmaintain standard of livingchildren's bookFinancial Systemwrite new goalInterestnot gender specific Fiscal Responsibilitypublic service loan forgiveness programGoodbye20% equityno late fee mortgage brokerLTCStock Investmentscharges on credit cardAshley Springermarriage financial responsibilityIRA contribution gifted moneyaffordable premiumdangerous retirement planNew York LifeARM Cautionunexpected expensestore credit cardsrefunddebit card2015 financial roadmapautomatic paymenthigh premiumssecure creditFICO Scorelower interest ratedental discount planPay Off Debt Before Retirementno retirement funds for down paymentlousy investmentwaive home inspection bidgay marriage ban end Florida exercise reguarlylife insuranceCollege of Veterinary MedicineRevocable Living Trustface your financial fearadjust allocations refinanceannual cost of living adjustment19 years cash flow problemCPI-Whome ownershippercentage men widowed 75-84gift grandchild IRA contributioncouple financeskids schedule paymentsdebt freeSandy Hook Promisecar loannegotiate points with bank or sellerCommencement10 year repayment plan Changing LivesSchool of Social Workcut monthly cable billWarner Bros Television Groupdental savings planretirement accountshome budget after tax costAlarm Clockcostly insurance mistakewomen long term caresave back-to-school budgetconfidentsocial securityVital DocumentsMotherterm life insurancehigh credit score discount

View Blog & News List
People First. Then Money. Then Things.
Connect with me on Facebook Connect with me on YouTube Connect with me on Twitter
© 2017 Suze Orman Media Inc. All rights reserved.
 |  Search  |  Sitemap  |  Privacy  |  Terms
Sign Up For E-mail Offers
Open Panel
Close Panel