Suze Orman TwitterSuze Orman FacebookSuze Orman YouTubeSuze Orman LinkedIn
View Blog & News List

Karma Is Not A Negotiating Tool

October 15, 2014 at 10:45 AM

I am a big believer in karma. But to suggest that good karma should be the lynchpin of managing your career is not just wrong, but dangerous.

Yet that’s what Satya Nadella, the chief executive officer of Microsoft offered up as advice to working women at a recent women’s conference: “It’s not really about asking for the raise, but knowing and having faith that the system will actually give you the right raises as you go along,” said Nadella. “That’s good karma. It will come back. That’s the kind of person that I want to trust, that I want to give more responsibility to.”

I couldn’t disagree more. Yet in a perverse way I am glad Mr. Nadella brought this issue into the spotlight. That the chief executive of the 34th largest company in the Fortune 500- with profits of nearly $22 billion on revenue of more than $78 billion-said this should be a wake up call to every woman. This was not some outlier start-up entrepreneur looking to provoke. 

Yes, Mr. Nadella backtracked as quickly as the backlash began, but it would be wise for every woman to take Mr. Nadella at his original word. The fact is, whether an explicit strategy or implicit assumption, management preys on women’s propensity to not negotiate, to be consummate team players, to be passive.

One telling academic study reported that women equate a salary negotiation on par with the uncomfortable-and sometimes painful-experience of a trip to the dentist. In the same study men viewed salary negotiation as a game to be won. Okay, so it’s not typically in our DNA. That just means having to make a conscious effort to override what does not come naturally. 

To suggest that good karma is all women need only fuels this this dangerous mindset. It plays into what I see so women hope to be true: that their good nature, get-along, consensus-building nature will be rewarded without asking. That’s naïve. We’re still dealing with a gender pay gap across diverse professions that often has women working at a discount of 20%-30% less than what their male colleagues earn.

So much for karma as a negotiating tool.

Karma Is Not A Negotiating Tool

Mr. Nadella has since communicated to Microsoft employees that he got it wrong. His advice: “If you think you deserve a raise, you should just ask.” In a vacuum that advice is fine. Rather than wait for karma to get your manager to acknowledge your contributions and value, be proactive. The problem in all too many offices is that being your own best advocate often gets women labeled as agitators or pushy. Or, yes, bossy.

And then there’s the art of asking; something women also tend to struggle with. “Can I have a raise?” or “I deserve a raise” or “I am overdue for a raise,” is not the way to go. Where’s the power in that? Ask for a meeting to discuss your compensation; get it on the schedule. This is not some “oh by the way” item you mention at the end of a meeting. In advance of the meeting prepare a one-page list of what you have accomplished. Be as specific as possible. Run through the deliverables you nailed and goals you met (and exceeded.) Then in the meeting you do no ask for a raise. You state your case: “I deserve a raise of at least X.” The phrase “at least” is crucial. You have just set expectations and your floor. You are negotiating from a position of confidence and power. That is going to pay off.

Tag Cloud

professional advisorAmericans don't use all paid vacation time3 savings buckets 2015 record year car salesjanuary billstaxesstretch out haircut appointmentslong-term care graduationsuccessincrease retirement savingsraise your deductiblehome insurancespring summer verify retirement plan with HR or plan sponsorEasy Life Insurance rising home pricesoverspend on giftsDeath BenefitCredit Card Rate Increasehigh down paymentescrowlower rateExhibitionclosing costs 2% of loanSave Us Moneylousy investmentRevocable Living Trustearn more on savingsdoctors in networkcouple financesitemized deductionEric Dodge CD'schildren under 18TeachFRAteach your child good money habitshigh FICO scoreYoung Adult not gender specific Love3 step financial road mapFederal PLUS loanknow before you owebuy home you can affordMotherbuy down 40% toward financial goalbetter termsback door Roth IRAFixed Rate Mortgagereduce monthly paymentpowerfulcredit cardrequire chore in exchange for allowanceretirement accountsSuze is my biggest mentordeath benefit needs for familypurely financial standpoint20% down paymentFinancial Cliffno private loansverify wellness screening and programshome buying mistakesstudent loan repayment estimatorLTCmaintain standard of livingretirement planhealthy youphysical healthemployer offered life insuranceavoid burn outCredit scoreidentity theftconfident of solutionlet them have 50% control2016 adjust withholdinglearn good financial choicesmortgage interest tax deductionstudent loan repaymentreal estate mistakes15-year refinance dealpremiumGiftsnot enough life insuranceunexpected expenseproperty taxbetter loan ratesWarner Bros Television GroupBankruptcysavingscomparison shoppingbest interest of investorreal estate marketFederal Funds Rateno retirement funds for down paymentpreexisting condition not coveredeliminate credit card debtETF'sbecome member automate student loan paymentsdon't defer interest paymentsvalentines dayjuggle multiple financial goalspay high rate off firstgrandparent IRA contribution ForeclosureGay Couplesretain separate credit cardsgift grandchild IRA contributionbuying a carAARP Social security calculatorrefinanceno late fee keep a schedule8 month emergency fundcredit managementForbes Top 10Roth 401(k)paid vacation19 years cash flow problemFundsroth iraPrime Rate Increasehome related tax break bonus women long term caredon't blow tax refunddear suzesave moneyshort term goal earn allowancekids schedule paymentsvalue moneySuze Orman Scholarshipfour steps to retirement savings GraceUniversity of Illinoisno waiting periodmortgagefinancing car zero rate transfer dealsget the most out of social security annual cost of living adjustmentgay marriage ban end Florida consider roth 401(k)stay positivedon't buy wantsapproved medical 100% tax-freeresponsible with moneycommitSwap Older Annuities or Life Insurance Civil Rightsinsurance mistakeHDHP pay down student loan debtPrime Rate Rise 2015no sneaking in fees10% donate to charityWashingtonlive below your meansinterest capitalizationfiduciarydeath benefit 20 to 25 times annual income20% equitylower overall drug costalternative FICO scoreco-sign exercise reguarly20 to 25 times annual incomeraise insurance deductibleworst financial mistakeshorter payback period50 over 50Federal Stafford loanlower premiumanticipated salaryraise deductiblescar loanallowancelong term careincentives for health care wellness screeninglow credit scoreworkaholicclosing feeshome buying budgetmarriage inequalitydon't cover cosmetic dentistryhousing marketopen enrollment review heartacheBeautySatisfyingbad decisionsHoliday SeasonInterestno tax on withdrawlswomen longer life spankid borrow firstnear historic lowsfocus on new truth dangerous retirement planMinor Children borrowing plan Urbana-Champaignhome ownership15 year mortgagedo you need life insurancecreate new truthreplace permanent life insurance with termorigination feespresident Obamais it necessary?How To Build Creditstudentcredit utilization rateLong Term Care shoppingresponsibleloan necessityAccuQuote.comcostly insurance mistakelow down paymentcontribution social security not going brokeonly offered while employed FHA loan feesno interestwaive home inspection bidmanage student loansswitch to roth 401(k)don't do five year car loanholiday spendingbetter loan dealsface your financial fearFinancial Systemhigher monthly paymentrolloverdangerous money seasonPay Off Debt Before RetirementFICO Scoremonthly dental insurance premiumone credit cardlower interest ratebudgetHDHP'sdental savings plansummer job match income mental healthCPI-Wsavings pleasurepay 100% cashhealthy teethstudent loan debtwrite new goalVital DocumentsFederal Reserveincreased auto insurance premiumritual schedulelowest cost fund optionbad retirement planningAuto Savings 2015 financial roadmapreduce withholdinggift up to 14,000traditional vs roth 401(k)Overspending20 year level term Post-Divorcebalance transfer big results dental discount planmonthly benefit Financialpay credit debt ASAPat worst still pay 75% benefitARM Cautionsecure creditlong-term care premiumsHDHP's are good for youloan no longer than 36monthscostly legal women outlive menStudent Debt8 month safety netmax employer matched 401(k) contributionsuitablePersonal Financefinancial aidmobile appsecured cardNewtownsocial securitymoney vowscut monthly cable billForbesultimate compounding giftrequired disclosureStaffords this year have a fixed 6.8% interest rateswitch to spouse coveragelow-cost index mutual fundmultiple lendersmax employee matchhighest possible benefitHSA tax savingsclosing disclosureinsurancedebtfull retirement agecan you afford itlife insurance name trust as beneficiarysocial security never insolventpay more than minimumdream schoolmake saving a pleasureno negativitynegotiate points with bank or sellerFICO at least 720Free Debt Eliminatordoctor no longer in networkCollege of Veterinary MedicineNew York Lifeletter to suzePBS Specialpay down car loanAshley Springerhealthy gumsSuze changed my lifeadjust allocations Will401Kfamily save at least $100 monthlyfraudulent returncharges on credit card2016 adjust estimated taxFiscal ResponsibilityFinancial Gift Cliffborrow each year, capitalization is going to pile up no private loansidelinedloved ones dependent on incomeidentity fraudStudent LoanStudent Debt CrisisLong Term Care Insurance Alarm Clockoverspend on dining outlong term goalinterest on student loansschedule vacationfile taxes quicklytelevision hosttax ID theftschool small changes breakdown projected monthly housing costwives should be involved in retirementnon conventional routeUniversity of FloridaGiftDurable Power of Attorney for Health Carewomen live longerSpendingunder 18 financial giftemergency fund New american Dream life insuranceInfluential CelebrityHoliday Shopping740 credit scoreWall StreetGay RightsFinancial Solutions For YouUS Tax CodeHDHP's are not badSelfishbuy homeloan big picture community bankcompare provider pricingMost Influential Celebrities Listfinancial argumentsdo not pay allowance for good behaviorleave a legacyemergency fund savingsdon't charge a pennyno life insurance financially irresponsiblehealthy retirement weightRevocable Trustadvice for college graduatesSuze OrmanMoney Marketpoint cost offset by savingsbest loan deal Inflation Benefithigh credit score discountCommunication Skills shop online guaranteed level term policyHigh Credit ScoreChanging Lives!00% tuition paidprovider of financial supportsave meet monthly Stock Investmentsfinancial fearsis it kind?high deductible health care plancar buying mistakesAmy Lacyetreduce interest ratebe good exampleBaby BoomersMoneydon't extend mortgage always use all paid time offFinal Goodbyeget credit cardraising mortgage rates Legal Guardiancredit unionprotect your familyFinancial Advicefederal student loan deferment title insuranceretirementthree year car loanterm insurancefinancial concernfinancial independenceyours, mine & oursnew carTelepicturesmortgage disclosureOne Wallet At A TimeRetirement Income4 Must Have Documents Must Have Documentsteens and moneycontribute household expenses push yourself to save more for retirementaffordabilitypermanent life insuranceget over life insurance phobiacnbc alarm clockgrandchild summer job IRA contributionCOLAhome budget after tax costMoney-SavingInvest for savings growthiffy incomeinsurance yearly reviewVeterinary Schoolstudent loan repayment planstore credit cardsFinancial Awareness Video Festivalpeace of mind401(k) ContributionsCommencementCombo Insurance Productsincrease emergency savingsno fee transferJose Rodriguezdebit carddon't derail retirement savingsmortgage brokerIRA contribution gifted moneyLong Term Care premiumsspeak new goalautomatic paymentcollege graduateprescription tierraising interest ratesGoodbyedebt freeConventional loan PMIrent vs buyburn outcut monthly cellular billplanrepay student loansCredit Card Interest RateInfluentialspublic service loan forgiveness programbe kind to yourselfThe Suze Orman Showhealthy retirement blood pressureunsubsidized Stafford loanhigh premiumscalculate dependents annual income needsstaycationconfident20% down payment avoid feesadult childrenteens2017 Taxescar leasinglower mortgage intereststandard ratepercentage of women widowed 75-84Mass Mutualdepreciating asset Suze Orman's Money Warsemployer funding HSAage appropriate choreget health insuranceRetirement SavingsFinancial Awarenesshealthy aging public service career student loan repayment community collegeengaged in financesteach importance of helping othersuniversal college accesspercentage men widowed 75-84FICO credit score credit card mortgagepay off debtEmergency Savingsfinancial goal phrasebe true to yourself3% debt transferred credit reportaccelerate dental worklow mileage discountback-to-school budgetcommissionsHeartpaying for collegeterm life insuranceonly refinance if it paysdon't ignore open enrollmentCNBCprotect and provide for minor child standard deduction max benefit coveredFinancial Power of Attorneystrained relationshipLifestylehome loan credit score below 740 Suze Orman spouse Kathy TravisCiti Simplicity Card retirment savingsHolidayquick closingis it true? LTC shoppingdon't use allowance as bribe10 year repayment plan paid in full8 Ruleschildren's booksame sex marriage band end Florida30 year mortgage ignore 6 month grace period Employer Matched Contributionprotect dependent AARPenjoy saving too expensive schoolHDHP/HSAspecial saving accountrefundwould you decline a bonusHigh FICO Score = Better RateSandy Hook Promisecollege studentSuze approvedbill paying prioritiesBankreferrals positiveRich3 bucket approachCory Bookerbuying car 2016money-aware childSandy Hook Elementary SchoolAdequate Auto and Home Insurance6 month waiting periodFinancial Educatoraffordable premiumprotect loved ones automatic withdraw to savings initial tax break pay interest while in schoolemotional stakesoverspend on nights outcompare monthly expensesARMeight month living expense take actionsocial worksame-sex marriagefocus on needsfile asapno apologyovercome financial fearscost of capitalization calculatordental insurance best interest ratesone annual feegift not loanMortgage Credit Availability IndexMarlo Thomassetup automatic savings withdrawtax refund fraudBill and PennyPhyllis Shelton expert long-term careage appropriate goalshigher insurance deductibledon't spend home buying seasonmarriage financial responsibilitySelectQuote.comno splurge increase retirement contribution rateadd teenderailed planSchool of Social Workloan is giftallowance taskis it necessaryLTCi ASAP

View Blog & News List
People First. Then Money. Then Things.
Connect with me on Facebook Connect with me on YouTube Connect with me on Twitter
© 2017 Suze Orman Media Inc. All rights reserved.
 |  Search  |  Sitemap  |  Privacy  |  Terms
Sign Up For E-mail Offers
Open Panel
Close Panel