Suze Orman TwitterSuze Orman FacebookSuze Orman YouTubeSuze Orman LinkedIn
View Blog & News List

Why I Don’t Like Weddings

May 26, 2016 at 12:00 AM

Weddings bring out the worst in our bad-money habits. I have known too many couples that have gone into credit card debt to pay for a wedding. Love doesn’t mean paying 15% interest-or more!-for a special day. And I have seen way too many parents nearing retirement who pull money out of their retirement savings, or stop contributing to their retirement accounts for a year or two, or use a home equity line of credit to pay for a child’s wedding. That is insane. Love never means having to jeopardize your future to pay for a wedding.

Some questions I wish all couples would think about as they plan a wedding:

  1. Can we afford it? Please review my tips for deciding if your finances can take on paying for a wedding.
  2. Can our parents afford it? If you have any sense that your parents will have to make any sacrifice to their financial security to cover the wedding costs, you must not accept a penny from them. I don’t care if they insist that they want to pay for the wedding. Of course they do! They are your parents. But here’s the more important issue: You need to show your love by putting their financial security first. If they are borrowing from the 401(k), or from their home equity, or god-forbid are going to run some credit card debt to finance the wedding, you need to say: No Thank You. I have always said it is important to Say No Out Of Love Rather Than Yes Out of Fear. Don’t be afraid to be the adult and put your parents financial security first. Trust me, it not only is for them. Let’s jump 15, 20 or 30 years into the future: if your parents aren’t financially secure, it’s going to fall on you to help them out. Start helping them now, by not asking them to spend money that should be saved.
  3. Can our friends afford it? Being gracious hosts starts months before the wedding. Please think carefully about the expectations you have for bridesmaids and groomsmen. The tab to be a central part of a wedding (especially a destination wedding) can be a major imposition.
  4. Do we really need gifts? I have no doubt that your family and friends are thrilled to be part of your wedding celebration. But you’ve been on the other end of the invitation enough to understand how it can unleash a lot of spending. Getting gussied up for the event can often entail plenty of spending: for a new outfit, or accessories. Or maybe a special trip to the salon. Anyone with young kids is going to need to hire a babysitter. So right there they’ve got some major costs. Then there’s the gift issue. Look, if you are into gifts, at the very least make sure your registry includes an abundance of moderately priced items. Or if you’re less wedded to gifts, maybe add something like this to the invitation: “We look forward to your presence. Presents not expected.” Or “Your presence is a gift.”

Tag Cloud

lowest cost fund optionraise deductibles3% debt transferred Fixed Rate MortgageWall StreetHDHP cut monthly cable billwives should be involved in retirementbuying car 2016The Suze Orman Showdebt freeInvest for savings growthis it true? Durable Power of Attorney for Health Careterm life insuranceterm insurancetax ID theftdon't use allowance as bribekeep a scheduleLoveteach importance of helping otherslong-term care premiumsretirment savingsEmployer Matched ContributionEmergency SavingsNew York Lifereal estate mistakesget health insuranceis it kind?traditional vs roth 401(k)20% down payment avoid feesMoney Marketprotect and provide for minor child strained relationshiphigh premiums2015 record year car saleshealthy retirement blood pressureCivil RightsHDHP's are good for youloan no longer than 36monthsCommencement8 month emergency fundSuze Ormanshorter payback periodcollege studentco-sign premiumdental savings planLifestyleAmericans don't use all paid vacation timeMost Influential Celebrities Listprescription tierloan necessitydepreciating asset learn good financial choicesmoney-aware childcar loan2017 Taxeslive below your meansSatisfyingSuze is my biggest mentorrising home pricesBankruptcyadjust allocations value moneycar buying mistakespay down car loanpay credit debt ASAPMothermeet monthly maintain standard of livingHDHP/HSAdangerous retirement plan50 over 50would you decline a bonusreferrals don't cover cosmetic dentistryprofessional advisorpercentage of women widowed 75-84manage student loans20 to 25 times annual incomeage appropriate chorestudent loan repayment estimator401(k) Contributionspaying for collegehome buying seasonFinancial Solutions For Youretain separate credit cardscredit managementbreakdown projected monthly housing costfraudulent returnsame sex marriage band end Floridaknow before you oweMoneyEric Dodge dental discount planmake saving a pleasurechildren under 18allowance taskcompare monthly expensesalways use all paid time offclosing feesOne Wallet At A Timenegotiate points with bank or sellersuccessmax employee matchhigh deductible health care planARMreduce monthly paymentcredit utilization rateitemized deductionCOLAcommunity bankbecome member Telepicturesadd teenclosing costs 2% of loanGoodbyeno splurge Financial Systeminsurance mistakehigher insurance deductibleMarlo ThomasForbes Top 10CNBC20% down paymentPrime Rate Increasedeath benefit needs for familyInfluential Celebritycreate new truthmax employer matched 401(k) contributionhealthy aging dangerous money seasonemergency fund savingspay off debtage appropriate goalsLTCHDHP's are not badpay high rate off firstgift up to 14,000School of Social Workmarriage inequalityspring summer no sneaking in feesStaffords this year have a fixed 6.8% interest rateGraceraise your deductibleis it necessary?mortgage brokerinsurancedon't ignore open enrollmentfiduciaryincrease emergency savingsapproved medical 100% tax-freeloved ones dependent on incomeInflation Benefitadult childrensuitablegay marriage ban end Florida no waiting periodovercome financial fearspositivedon't derail retirement savingsclosing disclosureVital Documentsno life insurance financially irresponsiblefinancial concernget credit cardsecured card4 Must Have Documents home loan credit score below 740 car leasingpublic service loan forgiveness programRetirement IncomePost-Divorcerepay student loansSuze Orman spouse Kathy Travisaffordable premiumdon't buy wantsget over life insurance phobiapublic service career student loan repayment AARPbest interest of investorpay down student loan debtcredit cardGiftCredit Card Interest Ratelower interest rateTeachonly offered while employed Adequate Auto and Home Insurancebe true to yourselfrefinanceorigination feesquick closingfinancial goal phrasenear historic lowstaxescnbc alarm clockdon't extend mortgage insurance yearly reviewWillMass MutualSandy Hook Elementary Schoolbig results planInterestPBS Special20% equityhome ownershipJose Rodriguezteach your child good money habitsFundspay more than minimumprotect loved ones save Revocable Living TrustFinancial Gift Cliffcredit unionnot gender specific home insurancewomen live longerborrow each year, capitalization is going to pile up holiday spendingdon't blow tax refundHoliday ShoppingFinancial Awareness Video FestivalFinancial AdviceYoung Adult Ashley Springerspecial saving account19 years cash flow problembalance transfer savingsautomatic paymentlower premiumPay Off Debt Before Retirementderailed planbuy homeonly refinance if it paysconfidentburn outprotect dependent doctors in networkwaive home inspection bidaccelerate dental workmoney vowscalculate dependents annual income needssidelinedCPI-WNew american Dream rent vs buyswitch to roth 401(k)letter to suzedo you need life insurancemax benefit coveredkids schedule paymentsHigh FICO Score = Better Rategrandchild summer job IRA contributionautomatic withdraw to savings raising interest ratesFederal Funds Ratebe kind to yourselfcouple financesSwap Older Annuities or Life Insurance overspend on nights outraise insurance deductiblebetter loan ratesno fee transfersummer job match income open enrollment review Beautystaycationsecure creditallowancelong-term care Cory BookerHigh Credit Scoresame-sex marriagecommissionslow down paymentincentives for health care wellness screeningStudent Loanultimate compounding gift3 savings buckets debit cardfull retirement agefinancial argumentsbest interest ratesphysical healthlong term careshort term goal better loan dealsCommunication Skills Veterinary Schoolhome budget after tax costForeclosureCredit Card Rate Increaseemployer funding HSAleave a legacy2016 adjust withholdingcost of capitalization calculatorRetirement Savingsnon conventional routeheartacheHSA tax savingsreduce interest rateInfluentialscostly legal healthy retirement weightdon't spend buy home you can affordswitch to spouse coveragedo not pay allowance for good behaviormonthly benefit eight month living expense Revocable Trusttitle insurancehigh down paymentlife insurance name trust as beneficiarycollege graduateSandy Hook Promisecostly insurance mistakedon't do five year car loanForbesemployer offered life insurancepercentage men widowed 75-84Conventional loan PMIpay interest while in schoolGay Couplestoo expensive schoolhigh credit score discountschool Death Benefitcompare provider pricingmortgage interest tax deductionfinancing car mobile appfinancial aidFederal PLUS loansocial workwomen outlive menpresident ObamaSuze approvedfile taxes quicklyzero rate transfer dealshousing marketLong Term Care premiumsjuggle multiple financial goalscharges on credit cardMinor Children healthy youidentity theftfederal student loan deferment kid borrow firstfinancial fearsreduce withholdingearn more on savingsunder 18 financial giftpeace of mindprotect your familyCD'sGay Rightsschedule vacationpowerfulLong Term Care Insurance Citi Simplicity Card Easy Life Insurance dream schoolbuy down iffy incomeaffordabilityIRA contribution gifted moneyLegal Guardianhome buying mistakeshighest possible benefitlower ratecomparison shoppingcontribute household expenses bad retirement planningCollege of Veterinary MedicineSuze Orman Scholarship40% toward financial goalHoliday SeasonHDHP'sFinancialFICO ScoreBill and Pennyvalentines daylet them have 50% controlanticipated salaryretirement accountsBankidentity fraudlife insurancethree year car loanno private loansunexpected expensePhyllis Shelton expert long-term carelower overall drug costback-to-school budgetdeath benefit 20 to 25 times annual incomepaid in fullsave moneyLong Term Care shoppingFICO at least 720ritual schedule2016 adjust estimated taxHolidayUrbana-Champaignteensdon't defer interest paymentsback door Roth IRAverify wellness screening and programs!00% tuition paidgraduationincrease retirement savingsadvice for college graduatesstretch out haircut appointmentsstandard deduction high FICO scoreverify retirement plan with HR or plan sponsormultiple lendersStock InvestmentsUniversity of Illinoisalternative FICO scoresocial security not going brokeWashingtonoverspend on dining outconsider roth 401(k)social securityfour steps to retirement savings no retirement funds for down paymentCredit scorenot enough life insuranceFinancial Power of Attorneydebtconfident of solutionpreexisting condition not coveredworst financial mistakeno apologypurely financial standpointFRApay 100% cashwomen long term carerequire chore in exchange for allowanceARM Cautioncredit reportgift not loanExhibitionfile asapdon't charge a pennyPrime Rate Rise 2015dear suzestudent loan debtSave Us Moneybuying a carhealthy teethLTCi ASAPreal estate marketshop online guaranteed level term policyhome buying budgetBaby BoomersAccuQuote.comFinal Goodbyeyours, mine & oursFICO credit score credit card mortgage2015 financial roadmapcontribution Giftspush yourself to save more for retirementno negativityjanuary billsresponsibleuniversal college accessstore credit cardssocial security never insolventannual cost of living adjustmentMust Have DocumentsAuto Savings responsible with moneyRichdoctor no longer in networkone annual feestay positivetake actionmental healthFinancial Educatorno tax on withdrawlssmall changes 6 month waiting periodescrow3 step financial road mapborrowing plan one credit cardtelevision hoststudent loan repayment plangift grandchild IRA contributionnew carhome related tax break bonus Suze changed my lifemonthly dental insurance premiumemotional stakessetup automatic savings withdrawrefundrequired disclosurehealthy gumsChanging Lives20 year level term loan big picture emergency fund enjoy saving Financial CliffRoth 401(k)better termsWarner Bros Television Groupcommunity collegelower mortgage interestCombo Insurance ProductsFiscal Responsibilityfocus on new truth 740 credit scoreOverspendingMortgage Credit Availability Indexcommitbad decisionsteens and moneymarriage financial responsibilitySpendingFHA loan feesFederal Reservefocus on needsexercise reguarlyincreased auto insurance premiumavoid burn outincrease retirement contribution ratemortgage disclosurestudent loan repaymentLTC shoppingoverspend on giftslousy investmentat worst still pay 75% benefitloan is gifttax refund fraudUniversity of Floridainterest capitalizationpermanent life insuranceAmy Lacyetretirement plan15-year refinance deal10 year repayment plan 10% donate to charityunsubsidized Stafford loanlow-cost index mutual fundwomen longer life spanUS Tax Codefinancial independencePersonal Financedental insurance 3 bucket approachroth iracan you afford itFederal Stafford loanspeak new goalStudent Debtbe good exampleengaged in financessavings pleasurebill paying prioritiesface your financial fearcut monthly cellular billmortgagelow mileage discountautomate student loan payments30 year mortgage write new goalETF'sinterest on student loansrolloverinitial tax break 401KStudent Debt CrisisstudentNewtowneliminate credit card debtHow To Build Creditno interestretirementno late fee 8 Rules8 month safety netFinancial Awarenessprovider of financial supportHeartbest loan deal Money-Saving15 year mortgagepaid vacationreplace permanent life insurance with termbudgetpoint cost offset by savingsworkaholicSelfishearn allowanceSuze Orman's Money Warsno private loanSelectQuote.comgrandparent IRA contribution Free Debt Eliminatorlong term goalAARP Social security calculatorfamily save at least $100 monthlyhigher monthly paymentignore 6 month grace period get the most out of social security standard rateraising mortgage rates property taxis it necessaryAlarm Clockchildren's booklow credit score

View Blog & News List
People First. Then Money. Then Things.
Connect with me on Facebook Connect with me on YouTube Connect with me on Twitter
© 2017 Suze Orman Media Inc. All rights reserved.
 |  Search  |  Sitemap  |  Privacy  |  Terms
Sign Up For E-mail Offers
Open Panel
Close Panel