June 27, 2019
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Too many of you have given up hope, so on this Ask Suze Anything episode, Suze shares emails from Women & Money listeners Carol, Renee, and A.T. about their success.
June 27, 2019. Another Ask Suze Anything. This is where you write in, you usually ask me a question, and if it is chosen, I will read it on the podcast and answer it. And as you know, I keep telling all of you, even though you don't believe that it is me, that I am answering and reading all of these emails myself. So to date, all of you have gotten a personal email from me, in answering your question. However I am going to say, that my schedule is changing now and I'm getting very, very busy with talks, and a book, and all this other stuff. So I don't really know if I'm going to be able to do that much longer, if at all. But you can always try. So you need to take advantage of these things when they really are being offered to you. But today, and let me just say this before I go on and tell you about today. If you want to send in an email for now, I want you to do so to ask Suze, S-U-Z-E, firstname.lastname@example.org. Shortly here we are going to have an app, that I am going to send all of you to, and you're gonna be able to see all the emails, and you're going to be able to see answers, and you're gonna just love what I am creating. To that end, many of you have also been asking me what happened to Sarah, and for those of you who don't know, Sarah for a few of the podcasts was my co-host. Sarah is working on the app full-time. And is in charge of that app. So she's still there, she's just not going to be on air with me. Because I just kind of like hogging the microphone all to myself. At this point in my life, I can do so. Here's what's happening on today's podcast. As I've been reading all of these emails, too many of you have given up hope. Too many of you are providing excuses for yourself for not being able to recover from a divorce, from a death, from making financial mistakes. And you have this attitude of, oh woe is me, woe me! I know women have it so hard. Oh give me a break. It doesn't matter how hard we have it. We have the ability to rise above it. Women can do anything and everything that they want, but you just have to want to and you have to be very careful because I keep telling you that your words, the words and your thoughts that you say and that you think manifest your reality for you. But you don't want to believe me. You just want to continue to think poverty thoughts, to think victim thoughts, to think thoughts that make you feel less than, so that you can't do what you need to do to help yourself. So the first thing you have to do is you have to start thinking great thoughts. You just have to do that and you have to say great words. And that's what today's podcast is about. I know it's an Ask Suze Anything. But what also happens on the podcast, is that many of you right in, and you tell me about the successes that you have had. And it's fabulous. So today, I am reading a few emails that have totally touched my heart, and I imagine that they will touch yours, and that they will hopefully show you that there is hope in seemingly hopeless situations. So sit back. And listen to what some women wrote in to me about. Suze, as you know, success comes in all sizes and situations. Thanks to you as my podcast mentor, I have made small successes over the last 15 years and now I feel stronger as I approach 62 years of age. This email was sent in by the way, from a woman by the name of Carol. Carol. So we will continue. I divorced 15 years ago, after 25 years of marriage. We, ex-husband and I, were miserable with each other and we didn't want our teenage sons to suffer from our unhappiness. So we, decided to go on our own separate ways. I got a decent amount in the divorce, and I bought a home, and applied that amount to my home in 2004. Fast forward to today. Thanks to all of your advice, warnings, books and recommendations to educate ourselves before we act, I have been able to grow the $25,000 that I started with in 2004 to $245,000. I moved to a 55 plus home that is affordable based on my current wages, never carry a balance on my credit cards, paid off my new car in 22 months, I have a new HVAC system, and my final goal is to pay off the remaining $57,000 on my home before I retire in February of 2025 at 67 years of age. I hope to continue working part time, so I get to 70 years before I collect social security. The pace and stress where I currently work is the deciding factor. I pay myself first. I put $1,000 a month into savings, $400 a month into my Roth, contribute to my 401K, and on, and on. The real reason for this email, is to also thank you for your guidance about saying no to a family member who asked me to co-sign a loan. Just last week, my 30-year-old son asked me to co-sign, and I had said no. As a mother, it was very hard to see disappointment when I said no, but we discussed in more detail why I said no. He respects that decision, and then, I made suggestions to him. Sell his home, pay off his debt. His remaining issue is, he co-signed his ex-wife's car payment and his credit score keeps taking a hit. I feel so strong and wise. I have a much better understanding of what the need is versus what I want is. Most things go back on the shelf at the store. My only regret is that I never opened a credit card in my own name years ago, so that I could build my own credit score back in my early 20s. But anything is possible. Again, thank you for all your guidance. I read your newest book, borrowed it from the library instead of buying it, and I'm finishing up the book The Richest Man in Babylon. Thanks Carol. Alright, that's our starting email. I read that to you because. Anything is possible. You can start over after a divorce. I know you think at the age of 50, at the age of 55, it is too late for all of you. It is not! What is wrong with you? Did you just hear. That you know, Carol said in just 15 years she was able to take her money, her money that she started a Roth IRA with, a 401K with. And she took it up to $245,000. You can do this. But you have to think you can, and you have to start now. So I don't want any more emails from you saying to me, it's too late. I'm 50, I'm 55, and I feel so bad. No! I don't want you to feel afraid, I don't want you to feel ashamed, I don't want you to have anger. I just want you to take action. Little by little. With 15 years to go, 20 years to go, 25 years to go. You can build up so much money, it's not even funny. But you have to know what to do. You can't make mistakes, you can't help others. You've got to help yourself. You can't fall prey to insurance agents. Again, warning, warning. You are never, ever, ever to buy any type of insurance products as an investment. Do you hear me? There is a new thing going on where everybody's calling them a retirement insurance specialist. They are all scams if you ask me. Also be aware that Facebook, shame on you Facebook for allowing this, that Facebook still has ads coming up with my picture on it, telling all of you that I want you to invest in this, and that, they are scams. They are cons. I have spent so much money trying to bring them down, but these are smart people. They know that you just listen, and that you just do things, without investigating what you're investing in. And it's almost impossible. Because they're overseas. That's where these people are stationed doing this, so the laws protect them over there. But Facebook, shame on you. Seriously. How can you allow somebody to put up an ad that has my picture on it, acting as if it's me, when you know it's not me? I've told you it's not me. Really. I think we all need to get together and sue the hell out of Facebook for not being responsible. It's not just about privacy. It's about allowing fake ads to take advantage of you. So if you see any ads that don't also appear on my website, or that you're in question of, can you just write in to email@example.com and ask if it's legit so that I can tell you know, it is not. Next email comes from Renee. And she says, I saw this quote today, and immediately thought of the Women & Money podcast, and everything you've taught us. And here's how it goes. And I have to tell you, I love this quote. The quote is actually from a woman by the name of Allison Vesterfelt. And it goes like this. Niceness stays quiet. Kindness speaks up. Niceness is toxic, kindness is healing. Niceness lies to keep the peace. Kindness knows the only way to make peace is to tell the truth. Niceness holds back. Kindness moves forward with humility, gentleness, and grace. Renee, I love this quote by Allison. Because again, the problem that you get into, is you want to be nice. You want everybody to like you. You want to make sure that you take care of everybody before you take care of yourself. That appears to be nice, but it's not kind. It is not kind to yourself. It is not kind to your family. It's not even really kind to the people that you are faking it, when you're helping them when you can't afford to. And again, it's really important that you understand. That sometimes helping is hurting, and sometimes hurting is helping. And we learned that in that first email that I read today when mama said to her son, no, I am not going to co-sign that car loan for you. And the son should have already known better. Because he got in trouble co-signing a loan for his ex-wife! That's why now he doesn't have any money. So our niceness is what gets us in trouble. True kindness, just like we said in that quote I just read to you, is when you stand in your truth. And your truth has to be one with the goal of making you strong, making u smart, making you secure. So that your family and everybody can feel that. Otherwise, we are just passing poverty down from one generation to another. So I got this email from A.T., and when A.T. first wrote me months ago, her situation was so horrible, it's not even funny. To say she was abused is putting it mildly. But in talking to her and emailing her, we started to talk about self-worth and net worth. We started to also talk about the self-abuse that we give to ourselves. Meaning, we don't think we can. That's what I was talking about a few moments ago to all of you, your words create your destiny. Your thoughts create your destiny. So I had long conversations via email with A.T. And here is the email that I got today. Hi Suze, I wanted to update you on my status, my state of mind. I now have $676 saved, and will be getting paid for my second job this week. Now before I go on, I just have to say this, $676 really has given A.T., that's how we refer to this woman, A.T. is how she usually signs her emails, such hope. A little amount of money may seem little, but to A.T, this is a huge amount of money because why? She has never had this. This is her something she can call her own. So do you understand that you really can find salvation in just a little! It doesn't have to be a lot. She goes on to say, I pray to God I get past hell week because everyone says I will get used to the strenuous work. I prayed that my back isn't in pain because I'm too old to do this. God answered my prayers. He said, you can do this my child. And I am Suze, I am doing this. It's still hard living off four hours of sleep most nights, but I have lived most of my life like that anyway because I've been a night owl since I was a kid, so staying up is easy, but maintaining soothe muscles and taking care of my body aches is vital to my survival. I keep an aromatic therapeutic epsom salt on deck at all times because they are phenomenal, and they help soothe my aching body. I will persevere through this until I no longer can, and I'm happy that I am able. Alright so again, before I go on, here's a situation where obviously A.T. is having physical aches, lack of sleep, whatever, but she is doing something to save herself. She is not saying, oh my body is aching, I can't do this, I only get four hours of sleep. She's not complaining, she's saying she's going to do this no matter what. She goes on to say, I am so blessed to have had the opportunity to have given the knowledge by someone so admirable as you. I'm constantly changing mentally and emotionally, and I can see it. It feels so invigorating to know that when I am ready, I can. I cannot ever thank you enough for helping me look in the mirror, and see myself for who I have always been and had lost sight of. I asked God to help me get through this, but I had no idea it would be like this. I am not where I would like to be yet, but I am so happy to have a taste of my freedom. It feels so good to know I don't have to ask anyone for help right now. I have you to thank for helping me gain myself respect back. Such a wonderful feeling. And you couldn't have been any further from the truth when you said gaining it would be the best thing I could do for myself. Thank you so much, and God bless you. Blissfully yours, A. T. I read the email, and I wrote A.T. back as I always do, and I told her that this email brought tears to my eyes. It filled my heart, and every part of me. Because this email is the answer to number one, why I am doing this podcast at this point in my life, and number two, why I really have tried to answer every single one of your emails personally. Because every one of you, you deserve a life where you can experience freedom on every level, not just financial freedom. But when you usually have financial freedom, you usually have personal freedom as well, but I want you to feel what it feels like in essence to be me. To love your life, to love every second of your life, to love who you spend your life with. Don't spend your life with somebody who doesn't make you feel more than. Remember, I've had many relationships before KT, all of them sucked if you asked me. Sucked the big one. None of them made me happy. None of them. Why did I stay? Because yeah, I had money, but I was too weak to make a decision of what I needed to do to make my own self happy. And that's what I want for you. And that didn't happen to me until I was 50. So if it happened to me, it can happen to you. And yes, KT will be coming on the podcast and we will be talking to you about how we split money, how we feel about that, and everything that we do since that's what you are asking to hear when you hear from her. But this last email from A.T. I promise you if A.T. can turn her life around given what she was going through, and really still is because she needs to leave the situation she's in, but she's first got to have money to do so, and she's getting to that point and she can see it. But if she can turn her life around, if she can feel happy, if she can feel financially free, if she can feel blessed, what is your excuse for not being who you were born to be? Stopped with the excuses, stop feeling less than, stop blaming others for what has happened to you. Just forget what you had. Look at what you have, and what you want. Concentrate on that. And when you need a little inspiration, you feel like you can never do it, come back to this podcast. Listen to these women, listen to the quote, listen, listen, take it in. And then change your life. I just have to end now with one story. And this story happened to me just the other day. And I was watching a video stream, of actually the woman who told me years ago that I should write many, many, many books and become like a professor. And the books should be about my clients’ lives. She told me, that one day everybody in the world would know my name. So I listened to this woman, because she has guided me for years now, and really in my opinion, has made me who I am today. And she was telling this story, and the story went like this. That she had a dream, and her dream was that she was sitting in a chair, and the chair was rocking, and rolling, and all over the place. Maybe she even said she was in a bed. I don't remember right now. And tell you the truth, but that wherever she was a bed or a chair, it was moving, floating and it was creating wind. And she realized that there was a flame in front of her, and that it was her goal in life, her goal in life, to keep that flame lit. That it was her goal to never let that flame go out. And she woke up from that dream. Now there's more to that story, but it's just that part that I want to relate to you. You have a goal as well. As I do. And that goal is to never let the flame of our life, the flame of joy, the flame of hope, the flame of love. The flame of carrying the flame of the possibilities and the probabilities of what lies in store for you to go out. That is your goal. That is your inner flame that nobody else can see. Nobody else, but you. So you have to do anything and everything it takes, to keep that flame from going out. This has been the Women & Money podcast for today.
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