August 27, 2020
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Where did your faith go? In this podcast of Women & Money, Suze talks about the costs of losing faith in yourself, in your strength, and in your wisdom. Listen as Suze shares her story.
Suze Orman’s Women and Money podcast is proudly sponsored by credit unions; a safe home for your money, rain or shine. Suze O. here. Now, listen to me, everybody. While I am healing, Sarah and Robert are going to present the following “Best Of” episode of the Women and Money podcast, as well as the men smart enough to listen, and briefly explain why they chose it for you to hear. So, everybody, enjoy the “Best Of” podcast. See you soon. Hello, this is Sarah, and this is Robert, and today is August 27, 2020. You know, Robert, Suze always says to us that everything happens for a reason, doesn't she? She does. And sometimes, you know, I don't think we know those reasons the exact moment they seem to be happening. And today it is exactly five weeks since her surgery. It flew by. I know it's unbelievable, right? And you and I have been here bringing our favorite episodes every Sunday and Thursday while we give her a chance to rest and heal. And, you know, maybe we don't know all the reasons why this happened, and we don't know what that impact is going to be long-term, not just on her physically, but, you know, knowing Suze, something big is going to come of this for sure. And she's so strong and the Women and Money community of listeners that have joined us, it's just such a powerful community. And everyone really rallied around her, supporting her, loving her, sending her prayers and well wishes. And KT, who is just an incredible human being, I mean, right? Yeah, absolutely. An extraordinary caregiver, an amazing partner. I'm just so thankful that Suze has KT in her life. And in this moment when she needed her most, I mean, KT, I don't even have words, just unbelievable. Well, they're a great team. That's the thing we've learned from working with them, they are a great team, and you can hear that we ran that episode a while ago. They're very inspirational, both of them. They really are. So, with that, big news is that this Sunday, August 30, Suze will return to the podcast. Woo hoo! I know, right? And I know that I'm for one, ready to hear her voice on the show. And there are a lot of other women and of course, and the men's smart enough to listen, who are going to be so excited to hear this news. Um, and I bet, Robert, that you're ready to get back to your regularly scheduled job of perfecting the show and getting it ready for prime time, wouldn't you say? Um, I wouldn't say perfecting it, it already is perfect. We just do a little polish here and there, but these are Suze's words. You know, I have certainly enjoyed caretaking over the last five weeks with you, but yes, I think all of us, this entire community, we are ready for original new words from Suze Orman. That is right. So with that, Robert, one final time, what do we have cued up for this final installment of Suze Orman's Women and Money Best Of series? Well, Sarah, in light of this is very exciting news, we're going to go for the last Best Of here, back to June of 2019, for what I consider is a very powerful episode called Have Faith - Everything Happens for the Best. And I'm so glad we're doing this one, I am so glad. Absolutely. And what I love about this episode, in particular, is that Suze gives us some great lessons for getting through hard times and how we can realize how strong we can be. And I have to tell you, there are there have been people in my life over the last year or so, um, since this episode was first posted, who were staying angry, they had gone through some hard times, there had been a setback, and they were angry and unsure of where to go after that setback. And I texted them a link to this episode and said, just listen to this, it will help you get through what you need to get through. And it did. Now, as you listen to this episode, we'd like you to think of what Suze just went through and is going through and heed her words. And I have faith that those words will help you. Couldn't agree more. Let's roll the tape. Email, after email, after email is coming in, and as you know, I am reading every one of your questions. And here's what I find, I have to say this, is so sad. It's almost like I want to say to you, where did your faith go? It’s as if you have given up, and you've given up, and the story is almost the same over, and over, and over again. Yes, there are different locales, different ages, but the story goes like this. I spent my whole life loving him, I worked with him, we accumulated all this money, everything was great. I actually was making more money than him. I supported him, I made sure that all his dreams could come true. I raised the kids, I did everything. And now I'm alone and I have to pay him alimony, I have to give him my retirement account, I have to give him all of these things and here I am, Suze, and I have maybe a few thousand dollars to my name, and I have to start over and I don't even know how to do that. And I write you back and I ask you, are you angry? Are you ashamed? Are you fearful? And you write me back and you say, of course I am. I'm so angry, I'm so angry that I wasted my life and now I'm living with my mother again. Can you even imagine that I had to move back into my home? Or, Suze, I'm living a lie. Of course, I'm angry. Do you know, Suze, that I can't even tell my parents that I'm going to be divorcing him because they are these devout Catholics, and as you know Suze, you cannot get divorced? And I feel like I am disappointing them so I don't even know what to do, Suze. I mean, I now have heard it all. But it all boils back to that you are angry at yourself, you're ashamed that this has happened, you're fearful, and you don't know what to do. And you only focus on money and then, then I always write you back this one question. And I've said this before and I'm going to say it again, and the question is a very simple one. If you could turn back the hands of time, would you marry him again? And most of the time you say no, or I have to think about it. Or yes, I love him. And I've gone through all this, this is podcasts that I've done before, but I obviously need to do it again. You have to have faith. You have to have faith that everything happens for the best. Yes, everything happens for the best. Even if you lost all your money, you feel like you've wasted 35 years, whatever it may be. You have to have faith. Where did your faith go? Because if you don't have faith that everything happens for the best, you are going to spend the rest of your lives being angry, being afraid, being shameful that you didn't know better. That you should have been a wise woman and you should have recognized the signs, and you knew it all along. But yet, you didn't want to pay attention because you're a woman, and a woman you just always take it and you just suffer and you do all of these things. No, you don't. Not anymore. And if you are listening to this podcast and you are 20, 25 and 30, you better be listening to me right now. You better be learning from the women who are 50, 55, 60, 75, and 80 and are writing in and feeling like they have wasted their lives. Don't you do that to yourselves, don't you do that. Not on my watch. So, you have to have faith, and the name of today's podcast is: Have Faith, Everything Happens for the Best. I have said this to you before and I am going to say it again, and again, and again. This is not an easy concept to understand. And the concept is, that money, money will teach you more about yourself, faster than anything else in this world. I find it fascinating that all the emails that are coming in are focusing on how much money you lost and how you have to start over again. I don't think I've had one that says, I lost the love of my life. Suze, I don't know what to do, my heart is broken because I loved him or her so much. Oh no, that's not what you are saying to me. You're talking to me about money. And here's what I want you to do from this point on. Whenever you write, and maybe you're angry, maybe you're whatever. I want you to write a letter to yourself about what are you angry about? What are you ashamed about? What are you afraid about? I want you to write that letter to yourself, and then everywhere you put the word “money,” I want you to substitute it with the word “life.” “My life.” Suze, I'm afraid I'm not going to have “money.” Suze, I'm afraid I'm not going to have “my life.” I'm not going to know who I am. Money, money, money. I know this show is called Women and Money, but it's using money to teach you about how strong you can be, you just don't even know it. You give up, you just give up, and why do you give up? Where is your fight? Where is your drive? If you saw your child drowning, if you saw your child about to be hit by a car, if you saw anybody about to hurt your child, this rage would come up in you and you would do anything and everything to save your child. But when it comes to you and your life, you just give up, you just stay angry, you just stay afraid, you just stay ashamed. You don't want to fight anymore to get your life back, and then you look at me and you think, oh well, Suze’s always had a great life. Suze’s never had to fight to get her life back. What do you know about me? Do you have any idea? Really? Of course, I had to fight to get my life back. Why do you think that I can talk to you with such passion? Because I've done the exact same thing as you. Do you think every relationship that I've had was a good relationship? How many times, again, do I have to tell you that I did not have a good relationship until I was 50 years of age? Until I met KT. What makes you think that I've never lost money, and I've never had to suffer for money? Are you kidding me? In 1987, one of my employees ripped me off, and it was blah, blah, blah and I can go on, and on, but there is a point there that I had $250k of debt and I didn't have any money to my name. I had to move out of this fancy office that I had because I couldn't afford to pay the rent. But I didn't give up. And why didn't I give up? I didn't give up because I had faith that everything happens for the best. If something is happening in your life, I want you rather than to fight it, I want you to surrender to it. I want you to look at it and think, are these things happening to me because they're a true blessing in disguise? I know I’m going to court all the time. I know I’m spending all of my money on legal fees. I know that everything that’s happening, I’m losing my house, I don’t have anything, I know all that. And Suze, you’re saying to me, you want me to think that’s a blessing? Can you tell me what your other choices are? Oh, I’ll tell you. Your other choice is for you to stay angry, for you to be sad, for you to be ashamed, for you to be afraid. And when you have those emotions, you then have rendered yourself powerless. And when you are powerless, you repel people. Nobody wants to be around a powerless person. And since people control money, people give you a pay raise, people give you a job promotion. When you are powerless you repel people since people control money, you repel money from you. And you’re wondering, what am I going to do, I need to make money? Well what you are going to do, is you are going to have faith that everything happens for the best and to see everything as a blessing. You know, sometimes I got to a point in my life when things were really bad, and I would say, OK God, I know that you are testing me. You’re testing me. And you want to see am I going to lose my faith? And the answer to that is, I’m not going to lose my faith. Because I have faith in who I am, and I have faith in my ability. And I have faith that if I’m going through something it’s because I need to learn the lesson that I am being taught, so I can be a stronger woman. So I can really experience what true happiness is. You know, one of my greatest tests that I recently just passed, was the fact that there was a magazine, a pretty major magazine, that wrote a pretty horrific article about me. Now normally, years ago, when I would read articles about me that were lies, and they were wrong, and people were just coming after me. Because you know, people just love to build you up, and as soon as you’ve really hit it really big, they love to rip you down. And what really hurt me about this one magazine, or it normally would have hurt me, was it was written by a woman. And I always think to myself, why do women want to attack other women? Why do they want to tear them down? You can never step up if you’re stepping down on somebody. But yet, that’s what this person did. And do you want to hear what is so great about it? Not only did I not read more than three words of it, I honest to God did not care. Because I know who I am, and I know what I do. And that’s the point in life that you want to get to. Where no matter what happens, and I know that was a very minor example as to what many of you are going through. But you want to get to the point in your life, that no matter what happens, you look at it as a gift from God. You look at it as a blessing. Remember, I was sitting on The Oprah Winfrey Show, the very first time I met her. And she said to me, Suze Orman, what is the key to life? And I said when you can be as happy in your sadness as you are in your happiness. Then you know the key to life. And it was in that one line that I know touched Oprah’s heart. And she just looked at me and was like, oh, we’re going to have to do another show on you. What other choice do you have, can you tell me that? What other choice? And again, I do realize how painful divorce can be. I’ll never forget the time that somebody came up, and it was a man. He was on a little scooter, not even a wheelchair, like one of these scooters that he was on, and he would push himself with his hands because both of his legs were gone. And I said to him, how did you lose your legs? And he said, oh, I used to be a mechanic, and I was working under a car, and the car fell on me and cut off both of my legs. And I said to him, oh my God, that must have hurt? And you know what he said to me? He said, not as much as when my wife divorced me. Ugh, yeah. So, I get it, I've gone through it. You've gone through it. But you have got to have faith that everything happens for the best. So, I am telling you this because stop writing emails where you have given up. Stop doing that to yourself. It's OK if you want to write to me, I just write you back and I tell you what obviously you need to hear. But I don't even want you to be at that point, where you have to write an email because you have given up. You can't give up on yourself, you can't give up on your children, you can't give up on the gifts that God is bestowing upon you. This is not about a religious program here. It's about you have to have faith in something, you have to. Otherwise, how do you get through life? How do you do that with all the crazy things that can happen? But the main lesson I want you to understand is that you cannot predict what the future can hold for you. You are never to forget that I did not write my first book until I was 45 years of age. And many of you are writing to me in your 30s even, and you think your life is all over. You're never going to get out of credit card debt and you've just given up. Why have you given up? Why would you give up on yourself? The goal of this podcast is to help make you strong. Strong so you can face anything that comes your way. Smart, so that you know how to handle it. And secure, so that you make the right moves, not just with your money, but with your life. And if you have given up on who you are, you will never, ever have the riches of life that are waiting to come your way. So, the podcast today is a very simple one. It's my wish for all of you that you have faith and that you know everything happens for the best. OK then, with that, we have just come to the end of the Women and Money "Best Of" series. Robert, I look forward to hearing your good work on Sunday. I'm very excited to hear what Suze has in store for all of us and thank you very much for listening, everybody. Suze, will be back here in this feed, by herself on Sunday. Hi, I'm Sarah, and I'm Robert, and we're from Suze Orman's Women and Money podcast team here to tell you that Alloya's member credit unions are so proud to have brought you this episode. You know, Robert, credit unions live by people helping people philosophy. Absolutely, Sarah. And that means when you bank with a credit union, you can trust that they have your best interest at heart. 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