May 12, 2019
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In this special Mother’s Day episode, Suze shares a very personal letter she wrote to her mother.
May 12, 2019. It is May 12th, 2019. And today is Mother's Day. And this is a really important day because if you think about it, none of us, not one of us, would be here if we didn't have a mother. So sometimes we have great relationships with our mothers. Sometimes we don't. Sometimes, we don't even know who our mothers are. But no matter whether we have a relationship with our mother, we don't, whether you are are a mother, or you are not. The relationships that we have with one another in life, are the most important relationships. Are the wealthiest things that we can create these relationships, in our entire lives. And I know that this is a money podcast, but this is a money podcast about becoming the strong, secure, successful women that we are all meant to become. And in order to become that, not only do we need a powerful relationship with ourselves, we need powerful and honest relationships with every single person that we choose to have in our lives. And please notice that I use the word you choose to have in your life. Because sometimes you have to choose not to have certain people in your life, no matter how much it hurts you. On this day, on Mother's Day, when I do a podcast, I always like to share a part of myself. Not my financial self, not my financial knowledge, but about me. A personal part about me that maybe you can identify with, maybe you can't. But I'd like for you to get to know me better. The me that you probably don't see when you watch me on TV, or you don't hear in my strength when I'm giving you a Suze slap down as Oprah used to say. But the me that is really the real me. So on this Mother's day, here's what I want to say to you. As you know, I didn't always have the greatest relationship with my mom. And a little bit ago, I was asked to write a letter. What would I say to my Mom? And when I was asked to write this letter, my mom had already passed. And so I wrote this letter. And I'd like to read this letter to all of you now. Dear mom, It's been seven years now since you've passed. Some would say that it's a short period of time. But for me, it has been long enough to think about all the things that I wish we could have worked out between the two of us before you left for good. When I was younger, I knew without a shadow of a doubt how much we loved each other. I could feel it. We would say it. We would show it. I always felt like I was your protector and had this fantasy that the two of us one day would run away and everything would be great forever. I remember so vividly that when you and Daddy would go out on a date, I would sit on the arm of the living room chair waiting for you to return. I would watch all the cars headlights coming down our street. I would not move until you turned into our driveway. You had come back to me. So I have to ask. What happened between us? Why in your last years, were you not able to tell me you loved me? Why Mom? I know you knew how much I wanted to hear those words. They really were the only words I wanted to hear. What did I do to make you want to punish me so much, and not give me the one thing I wanted from you? Four little, but massively powerful words. Suze, I love you. I know from our family and friends, you would tell them how much you love me. But you could not say it to me. Your silence carved a permanent hole in my heart. Auntie Thelma sat me down after your passing, and told me that you did love me. But the one thing you could never accept about me was the fact that I was gay. Really? Is that possible? Mom, I told you that being gay was the best thing that ever happened to me in my entire life. I understood why you were so upset with some of the relationships I had, for they did not demonstrate self-respect on my part. But my life started to soar around my 50th birthday, when the greatest gift of my life, KT presented herself to me. You loved KT. Do you remember the three of us going out to dinner when you told us that now you could go to your grave a happy woman for KT was in my life? Always so good. But then what happened? Was it simply that as you were getting closer to death, that you decided to live in other times in your head and forget how happy I was in the present? Was it simply that when your mind started to slip that the smiles on my face and in my heart slipped with it? I guess the plain truth is I will never ever know for sure. But Mom, just in case these words make their way to you, please know that out of all my accomplishments and successes that you were able to witness and brag to your friends about, that the greatest success of my entire life, is that I know my own thoughts. I know who I am and whom I love. Money will come and go, success will come and go. My fame will come and go. But one thing that can never be taken from me, no matter what, is the love I have in my heart. My heart is a full heart. And one that greets every day with a smile. I have known love in a way that most will never know. I've had the great good fortune to have a woman in my life that is 100% pure goodness. And with KT comes KT's family. They have embraced me, and taught me what it really means to be a true family. So Mom, regardless of what Auntie told me, who by the way, is up there looking for you if you have not already found each other, with the writing of this letter, I am now chosen to believe that you did love me. You do love me. And that my faith in that truth is more important than any words you could have said. I miss you Mom. And it feels good to miss you. But I am happy you finally went home to Daddy, to your Mom Goldie, to many of your friends, and to me in your own special way. One day, maybe we will meet up in the great forever. But until then, know I love you, and thank you for loving me. Your birthday is one month away. I know how much you loved your birthday. Happy 104th Mom, I love you. Happy Mother's Day. Everybody. Happy Mother's Day.
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