January 19, 2020
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In this podcast, Suze shares the exciting story of what happened when she met up with Oprah in Minnesota and offers some sage advice on why it’s important to put your needs ahead of your wants.
Hi everybody. Suze O. here and welcome to the Women and Money podcast as well as the men smart enough to listen. In a little bit, I am going to give you an update on what happened when I went to Oprah's 2020 Vision Tour in St. Paul, Minnesota, last week, which was January 11, 2020. Today is January 19, 2020, just in case you listen to this podcast somewhere down the line. But before I get into that, I want to talk about women, and I want to talk about money, and I want to talk about men, and here's what I want to say.Lately, everywhere I am reading and everywhere I'm going, it seems like everybody is getting on the Women and Money bandwagon. Let's have groups of women, let's have this for women, let's have investment clubs for women, let's have investment companies just for women, women, women, women, money, money money. And all of a sudden, I don't hear about men anymore at all. And I just want to say that the reason that I do the Women and Money podcast, as well as the men smart enough to listen, is that money is an entity that affects everybody regardless of your race, your sex, your religion, your tax bracket, your sexual preference. It affects everybody, and it affects them equally. And I understand very well that men have had so many more opportunities than women over the past years, it's not even funny. I understand very well that men still run this world. I understand very well that men mainly feel they are the ones to make the financial decisions, especially when I travel in the South and certain areas, it's almost as if I go back in time where women still have not taken their power when it comes to money. But want to know what else I understand?I understand that most men are financial fakers and they do not have a clue. They do not have a clue what to do, and so therefore what happens is they make financial decisions that affect your lives, your family's lives, your children's lives. And they make it based out of what their friend at work is doing, or their next-door neighbor, or somebody they heard on TV that probably doesn't know what they're talking about, or whatever it may be, and they are making serious mistakes. And the time that you find out that they've made serious mistakes are usually when you suffer a loss or they pass away before you and then you're like, but they told me not to worry my pretty little head about it. They said they had it under control. I was so busy taking care of everything else, I just really didn't want to get involved with the money.Or, here's what else can happen that really is sad. You are the ones who take care of everything. The women are the ones who take care of paying all the household bills, getting everything together, and maybe they invest the money, but they're not even sure how they're investing the money. And you're in a marriage with a man, and then you pass away first, and that man is absolutely so lost, it's not even funny. Believe it or not, in all the thousands of couples that I've seen this happen to, women actually do better when they lose their husband to death than a man does when he loses his wife to death. A man will get remarried in three months to six months because they cannot be on their own. A woman will take a long time if ever, to get remarried because they become independent, they become powerful and they just don't need somebody. If they find somebody and they want somebody, great. But other than that, no way. Men need somebody.So why am I talking about this? I'm talking about this because it's starting to bother me that everybody now is starting to target women. And I'm just afraid that their motives may not be pure, because now, as I'm doing this podcast, as of today, do you know that women make up more of the workforce in the United States of America than men? And women are being targeted because now, women are making more money, women are making more decisions, women are wanting to belong to something like Women and Money and a group like that, or whatever it may be. And so you're being targeted, but I'm not sure that everybody has your best interests at heart.Yeah, as a woman, come to me. Come to me, you're a woman. No. The reason why I did a Woman and Money podcast, and the men smart enough to listen, is that you have to understand that many of you that are in heterosexual relationships, you have to include your male spouse. You have to make him feel as secure as you may be starting to feel, and you need to make money a financial unit between the two of you because you don't want money to come in between you where he feels left out and he doesn't know what to do. And then he goes off and he starts spending money and putting things on credit cards and starting to get his ego fulfilled other places or whatever it may be. So I want you to be inclusive of the men in your life and I want you to invite them in to listen to this podcast.Now, obviously, I am focusing on women and I'll never forget when I wrote my book originally in 2007, Women and Money, everywhere I went because that book sold millions of copies everywhere I went on tour, I would hold my little fingers over the letters, "W-o" in the word women. I would just do, w-o, hold them, you know, hold it over them and then the book said Men and Money. And I would say, men, this is for you as well. You need to understand why women are different than you emotionally and psychologically and what they do with money is different than what you do with money, but you have to understand each other.So for some reason, I really wanted to just say that to you because I know we're going to shortly be forming a Women and Money community. I know that it's going to be a place where mainly women come, but I never want men to be excluded from here. And I never want men to be excluded from your life, especially if you're in a relationship with one. Because all of you, all of you need to be equally financially educated before the right reason. Remember, I don't want anything from you, but I most certainly want something for all of you. And I want all of you to be strong, I want all of you to be smart, I want all of you to be secure when it comes to your money. So it was last week and KT and I fly to St. Paul, Minnesota, and we land at 11am and we get a text that says, this is on Saturday, January 11, 2020. And we get a text that says, please be here by 12:10, 12:20 at the latest, because we're gonna start at 1pm. And we're told that they simply want me to go and come backstage, and I'll be taken to my chair where KT and I will be seated in the audience. And Oprah will ask me a question from on stage, and that will be that. And she's going to ask me, what is my commitment for the year 2020 when it comes to money or what... Something like that. So, think about it, Suze. I'm like OK, but remember, I want to go there and simply I just want to hug Oprah and wish her Happy New Year more than anything because that's really what I wanted.And so, and if you don't know what I'm talking about, tune in tow last week's Sunday podcast and you'll hear the whole thing. It's called Clearing the Funnel of Fear, so that is the podcast you should listen to to understand why I'm following up here. OK, so I arrive and everybody's so happy to see me backstage, but Oprah's not backstage, they have her in another area. And so I'm like, OK, no problem. And they go, Suze, let's take you guys to your seats. And we walk out into a crowd of 18,000 people, 16,000 or 18,000, something like that, in the center in St. Paul, Minnesota. Mainly all women. Music is going, and I start to walk down the aisle, and all of a sudden, the word gets out, Suze Orman is here. And one by one, people are like oh my God, it's Suze Orman, Suze Orman. And one by one, like I was just saying, they come up to me and they say, can I take a selfie? Can I take a selfie?It takes me approximately 40 minutes to get from where I enter, because now literally thousands of women are coming down, can I take a selfie with you? Can I take a selfie with you? And I always, just so you know this, whenever I'm in a crowd of people or on the street or wherever I may be, whenever you come up to me, do not ask me if you can take a selfie with me. What I want you to do is simply say, Suze, take a selfie with me. You have to start asserting yourself, ladies, you just have to, don't ask, tell. That's what I say. But everybody's asking me and I'm taking one selfie after another and I am loving it.And the escorts around are saying Suze, did you have enough? Do you want me to stop it? You do not want to be doing this anymore, you're really, it's getting a little bit out of hand. And I said no, this is an event where these women can never be told, no. This event is about women being told yes, they can do it. Yes, they can have it. Yes, they can be it. No should not be in their vocabulary today. And somehow we make it through and I get to my seat, and now we're sitting in our seats, me and KT, and people are still coming up all around and again, the escorts and the guards around me are saying, do you want me to stop? And I said, no, let it go. And with that, very shortly, the show begins and Oprah comes on stage and I'm watching her and I'm so thrilled to see her.And then after Oprah speaks for a little bit, they have Julianne Hough come on and she does a dance thing, exercising everybody through dance and through breathing, fabulous. Music is fabulous, she's beautiful, screens everywhere, people laughing and moving. And Oprah comes off stage and she walks around. It takes about two minutes going through the crowd because obviously people have moved her out of her way and she comes right up to me and we hug. I get to hug her, and now she stands there just a few feet away from me, and now we're exercising and dancing together. And on the screen, the big screen, we're both there, oh my God, I get to be with her for a little bit. And as the people on stage are finishing, she now makes her way back to the stage.And I'm just so excited because I got to hug her, which is really all I wanted to do. She's on stage and is talking about making a commitment for the year 2020 and right after she finishes that she says, anybody out there want to talk about finances? And of course, I raised my hand. She said Suze Orman, come on up here. And I'm like, but Oprah, I wasn't supposed to go on stage. I didn't exactly dress to be on stage because I was told I was just going to be in the audience. And so I go and I make my way up there, it's about a minute or two-minute walk, again, and I get up on stage, and as I'm coming on stage Oprah is saying, how many times did we do a show together, Suze? And I'm answering, screaming 29 Oprah! And as I'm walking up she goes, you know, Suze, I give your Women and Money book to all of my girls.And I come on stage and Oprah is waiting for me and she takes my hand and she leads me to the middle of the stage, and it reminded me, everybody, of the very first time in 1997 at the end of it that I was on "The Oprah Winfrey Show," and I was so scared, I was shaking, and she took my hand in the exact same way. It brought me back all those years. And then Oprah asked me to very quickly talk about what should everybody do when it comes to their money. And the basic advice that I gave everybody because Oprah just really wanted very practical advice. What can you do? What can you do in 2020 to turn your financial situation around?I said, well, Oprah, there are three things that everybody has to do, and the very first thing is, they have to live below their means but within their needs. And Oprah's looking at me like below your means? Like, what does that really mean, Suze? You know, below your means but within your needs? And she kept repeating it. I said, yes, Oprah, just because someone can afford something doesn't mean that you should buy it. And then it's like, well, how do you do that?I said well, that's number two. From this day forward, can you just try to buy needs versus wants? And then I go on to say a need, for instance, Oprah, is food in a grocery store, a want is food in a restaurant. And with that it stops her, says, can't go out to eat? No food in a restaurant? That's a want, that's a want. That stops her for a few seconds.And the third one is really, to get us much pleasure out of saving as you do spending. And with that I said, look, everybody, I'm still wearing the exact same earrings that I've worn for over 20 some odd years. It's really the only pair of earrings that I have. And then I said, look at my necklace, it's still the same necklace that I've worn for all of these years, over 20 years now, it's what I wear. I said, the only thing is, Oprah, you know, I always used to wear the same boots and the same pants on every single one of your shows. But I dress differently today. I'm different and these are different clothes. But the pants were only $35, everything I bought was really, the whole outfit was under $200 including the shoes, and it was so fabulous. I said, look, I have a different outfit on. I said, did you even notice? She looks at me like are you crazy Suze Orman? And with that, she says, thank you, Suze Orman, and with that, I leave the stage and I go back to my chair.And Oprah then was going to have another guest on. She had about an hour and a half left of the show, which, by the way, is a fabulous, fabulous experience. It is maybe one of the best-produced shows I have ever been to in my life. It's mainly Oprah going into the audience, interacting with you and really taking you through this incredible workbook that she has put together with WW. Now, WW used to be Weight Watchers, it's now WW. And Mindy Grossman, the woman who is the CEO of Weight Watchers, such a beautiful, beautiful vision that she has for all of you, for all of you that goes so far beyond weight and losing weight. It goes into having a really healthy life.But Oprah now is going to have Tina Fey come on, and I know very well that if I just stick around because they say Suze, stick around until it's over and then you can see Oprah and everybody, but this is now what I want to talk to you about. The main reason that I was there was to tape the pledge show of my new PBS special that will air, named after my book, February 28 in the year 2020, for a week or two on all PBS stations throughout the United States. The name of the book is called, The Ultimate Retirement Guide for 50 Plus, Winning Strategies to Make Your Money Last a Lifetime. The PBS special is also named that. The reason I was there was on Saturday to meet with the staging people at PBS station TPT, which is my sponsoring station, and to set up the props and to make sure the cameras were set. And all of that takes hours. And I was supposed to be there at 2:00 that day, and it is now 3:00, and I asked if I could get there at 3:30 at the latest and they said, yeah, it's OK, Suze, but don't be there much past 3:30 because, you know, the people have to go home and we're on a time schedule and they have to be back on a Sunday. So, please don't be much later than that. And I'm going, but in my head, so I'm in the audience now back there and I'm thinking to myself, oh boy, I so want to wait. If I could just wait until 4:30 then I could probably see Oprah and talk to her and be with her a little. And then at 5:00 or 5:30 or whatever time it would be, I could go to PBS.But that would not have been the right thing to do, because that wasn't why I had come to St. Paul, it was not to be in the Oprah 2020 Vision Tour, it was not to really see Oprah, although I loved it. It was to do my job, which was PBS. So, as much as it killed me because I knew they would wait for me, what other choice would they have? So as much as it killed me to leave without saying good-bye to Oprah, without talking to her, really, I left and I was at PBS at 3:30.Now I tell you this part of it because when there is something that you need to do, you need to do it, especially if it's something that involves work because your work is what sustains you financially speaking. So, at times it really needs to be your number one priority. Even if you want to do something else, you want to take the day off, you want to leave early, you want to go on vacation with your family even though you know you shouldn't be doing it at this point in time because you're on a certain project at work, whatever it may be. But I put my work as my number one priority in front of what I really, really wanted to do. Now, how that manifested was very interesting because it turned out that the table for the props was wrong, things weren't working out, certain graphics weren't right. We had a whole lot of work to do, and it never would have gotten done if I hadn't come there when I said I was going to come.Then Sunday at 2:00, this is now January 12, 2020, we air the PBS special in Minnesota for the first time, and everybody was seriously nervous about this because my last PBS special, "Financial Solutions for You," did over $60 million for PBS, and it made it the largest fundraiser in the history of PBS, in all the years PBS has been doing pledge shows. So, everybody was so nervous would this one be as good? Would it make as much money for this system, because you know, PBS needs money right now? They need it, and, you know, I could go on and on about PBS and why PBS I personally think is so important and why I do it for them just to do it for them. And this is the 9th one that I did and it aired and it was so successful, I can't even tell you. It blew everybody away, including me. So, now it will air nationwide starting February 28 and February 29, 2020. It will air many times after that, but that will be the first time that you see it nationally, and I will forever believe it's because I did what was right versus doing what was easy. It would have been easy for me to stay and do what I wanted and be with Oprah, but it wouldn't have been right. It wouldn't have been right. So because I did what was right versus doing what was easy, because I stood in my truth as to why I came to St. Paul to begin with, and because I put my needs in front of my wants, the energy was set in such a way, so that Sunday could be a success for all last week when the show aired. So basically, I just wanted to tell you that story. So there were many topics in today's podcast. One of them is women that have men in their life, I asked you to bring the men in your life to this podcast. Maybe they'll like it, maybe they won't. But no matter where you go, make sure you include the men, your spouse, in your life when it comes to money. Make them as strong as you are becoming as well. The next was simply do what's right versus what's easy. Make sure that you put your needs in front of your wants. And last but not least, I got to hug Oprah. Yeah, baby! In providing answers neither Suze Orman Media nor Suze Orman is acting as a Certified Financial Planner, advisor, a Certified Financial Analyst, an economist, CPA, accountant, or lawyer. Neither Suze Orman Media nor Suze Orman makes any recommendations as to any specific securities or investments. All content is for informational and general purposes only and does not constitute financial, accounting or legal advice. You should consult your own tax, legal and financial advisors regarding your particular situation. Neither Suze Orman Media nor Suze Orman accepts any responsibility for any loss, which may arise from accessing or reliance on the information in this podcast and to the fullest extent permitted by law, we exclude all liability for loss or damages, direct or indirect, arising from use of the information. To find the right Credit Union for you, visit https://www.mycreditunion.gov/.
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