Podcast Episode - Clearing The Funnel of Fear

About Suze, Personal Growth

January 12, 2020

Listen to Podcast Episode:

In this podcast, Suze shares a story about how she was recently afraid to do something and how she overcame her fear. Remember, when you have a fear of something, that fear blocks everything.

Podcast Transcript:

Suze O. here and welcome to the Women and Money podcast as well as the men smart enough to listen. What's so very funny as I sit here and I answer your emails and I tell you from the bottom of my heart, or share with you from the bottom of my heart, stories that I really hope transform your lives or give you the energy so that you really can all become the strong, smart and secure women that I so want you to be, and I know you want to be as well. And every once in a while I feel like it's really important that I share a story about what I'm going through that hopefully helps you attain that goal of being strong, smart, and secure, even faster.How many times have I sat here and I've said to you on this podcast that fear is the main internal obstacle toe wealth? And I always tell you the only way to conquer fear is through action. And I encourage you to take action, and I encourage you to face that fear, and I encourage you to tell everybody about it. And then every once in a while, I need to do the same to myself. But I don't sometimes have somebody that says that to me. So here I am, and it's about a week ago and I'm following the Oprah Winfrey Vision Tour, the 2020 Vision Tour. And she was in Fort Lauderdale a week or so ago,15,000 people sold out, and I was like, oh, so fabulous, I'm so happy for her. And then I'm like, where else I wonder is her tour going? And I look it up online, and I see that the tour is going to be in St. Paul, Minnesota, on January 11th. Now, as I am taping this, it is January 10th, so tomorrow her vision tour is going to be in St. Paul, Minnesota. And I'm sitting there looking, going, how can that be? I'm going to be in St. Paul, Minnesota, on January 11th. I arrive because I am taping my new PBS special, the pledge portion of it that will be live in St. Paul, Minnesota, on January 12th. So if you're listening to this, because this podcast is for Sunday, January 12, if you're in Minnesota, tune in at about 2 p.m. and 4 p.m, it's going to be for four hours where you will be the only ones in the entire United States that will see the PBS special, live, that we are doing. And then we'll have to know how it does there because that's where we test it, because in the past, how Minnesota goes, so does the United States. And that PBS special is based on my new book, The Ultimate Retirement Guide for 50 Plus, Winning Strategies to Make Your Money Last a Lifetime. It comes out on February 25th and the PBS special shows nationwide, I think it's February 29th starting everywhere. All right, that's not what I'm talking about here. Let's go back to the real podcast topic of today, and so I see that Oprah's going to be there and I just want to hug her. I want to say, Happy New Year! Maybe, Oprah, you want me, since I'm gonna be there to just come on stage and say a few wise words about money. Like, who can talk about money more than me? Nobody, nobody as far as I'm concerned. And so so I'm thinking about it and KT says, what are you thinking about Suze because she comes into the room? I go, oh, KT, do you know that Oprah's 2020 Vision Tour is going to be in St. Paul on the same day that we're going to be there? And she says to me, well, just write to her and ask her if you could be part of it for that day. And Suze Orman freezes. All of a sudden, this fear, this really not even logical fear takes over me and I go, I can't do that. They already have their lineup, they already have their speakers. I don't want to write Oprah and ask her that, she's really busy right now, I just can't do that. And KT says, are you crazy Suze Orman? Oprah would love to hear from you, Oprah would be so happy that you even want to do it. And I'm like, no, she wouldn't, I don't think so, KT. Really, once you do one of these events, every second is slotted and to add somebody is really a big deal and it doesn't work, so let's not be a burden on Oprah. Let her just be and let her have a great time and we'll be there across the street, sending her lots and lots of love. And KT just looks at me and walks out.And now this was early in the morning, and now we're getting ready to go fishing because, you know, when I'm on the island, my favorite pastime is fishing. And we're on the boat and KT, as we're going out to the spot where we fish, is so busy on her cell phone, she's typing something, and I'm like, whatever. You should be looking at the sunrise, KT, you should be looking at nature here, why are you on your cell phone? But I decided I'm not going to get involved, that's what KT wants to be doing, OK. And we're driving and driving on the boat and I look at KT and she has a smile on her face and I look over to her and go KT, what are you doing?She said, nothing. I said, well, KT, what have you done? You've done something, look at that look on your face. And she says, I wrote to Oprah, I sent her an email. I said, and what did it just say? And she said I told Oprah that we're going to be right there with her, and Suze would love to do anything for you, Oprah, if you want her to come and just say a few words or whatever, but regardless, Oprah, we would just love to give you a New Year's hug, which actually is the truth, because we miss her. We don't get to see her like we used to, ever since her show was off the air and I'm not on the Oprah Winfrey Network and blah, blah, blah, blah. And I go, you did what? You said what? That's right, Suze, you're too chicken to write Oprah Winfrey, so I wrote her. I write her all the time, Suze, you know that. So why wouldn't I just write and ask her? And I'm going, yeah, why wouldn't you, KT? And Suze Orman, why didn't you? What were you afraid of, really?So before I go on with this story, really understanding how your fears, your irrational fears, because most fears, not all the time, but a lot of time are just so irrational. So what fears are in your life at this moment in time that are irrational? That you are just afraid to say something, you are just afraid to ask somebody for something, you are just afraid to do something. And what is stopping you from doing it? Because almost understanding what's stopping you from conquering your fears, facing your fears is really more important than you actually conquering them. Because that thing that's stopping you will come up over and over again, and you have to be able to recognize that as well as I do. And when it starts to happen, you have to just stop it. You have to have some truth in your head that goes, this is not rational, I'm going to do this, I am not going to... Whatever it may be.So we continue to be driving out to the spot where we want a fish, and all of a sudden I hear a little ding on KT's phone, and KT now gets this huge smile on her face. And she looks at me and says, guess who I just got an email from? I said, don't tell me, Oprah, just don't. Yeah, you want to know what she said, Suze? Oh my God, I would love if you guys came, it's time that we have a New Year's hug. Let me connect you with the people who are in charge of the event and I'll tell them, of course, I want Suze there. Oh, I'm so happy.I'm like, really, really? And KT looks at me and says, what is wrong with you, Suze Orman, of course Oprah will be happy to see you. She loves you, you love her, what is wrong with you? And that was a great question for KT to ask. And I start thinking about it, and then what I really start thinking about was how grateful I am that I have somebody in my life, KT, who isn't afraid ever of anything. And when I say ever, I mean, ever. She never has fear, and I don't know why that is, and maybe that's one of the reasons I love her so. But how grateful I am that I have somebody in my life that cares enough about me that just goes for it when I myself can't or when I myself choose not to.So the next question is if you are listening and you have somebody in your life that you really love and you see that they are blocked because they are afraid of something, or they have this fear and maybe it's a fear of telling the person that they're in a relationship with that they no longer want to be there. Or, they have a fear of asking for a pay raise, or they have a fear of telling their kids that they can not afford to pay for them anymore. They're 35 years of age, and really, they should be paying for themselves, whatever it may be. Maybe you can be their KT. Maybe you can help them take the action that they are not currently strong enough to take, themselves.Now here is what also is so strange and this is what I want to also talk to you about. When you have fear of something that fear blocks everything. Should I say it again? When you have fear of something, that fear blocks everything. Everything.So I will continue with my story. So this happened a few days ago and as soon as this happened, and now I'm not afraid anymore, now I'm so looking forward to going and seeing Oprah, and it doesn't even matter if I speak that day or not. All that matters is, to me what matters is Oprah knows that I wanted to be there for her, with her, whatever it was. And again, I feel that way because I'll forever feel indebted to Oprah for putting me on her show 29 times and everything that she's ever done for me.What then happened was that everything else that I've been working on, but for some reason hasn't been coming through, one after another it started to come through. For example, right now I'm happy, I'm not afraid, because I dealt with Oprah and everything. And now I get an email from an editor at a major magazine that contacted me months ago about doing an article on me and how I have helped people get out of debt. And they were looking for somebody who had been in severe debt and because they followed everything I said now they're doing great. And I was so excited because, you know, it doesn't matter who you are and how famous you are, how wealthy you are, you always want a major magazine when you're somebody like me to do an article on you, especially when you have a new book coming out and a new PBS special. You want that, you want them to mention your Women and Money podcast, that's just reality, everybody.And so I was so excited when this happened months ago, and I would send them one story and one email, and one person I spoke to their phone number, one after another. And no, never happened, they're like no, they're just not right. NO, we're not doing this one. And in my own way, I kind of gave up on it and I thought, you know what? I just don't think this is meant to happen. What was so strange is within hours of me doing this thing with Oprah, and KT helping me at least conquer that fear, I get an email from this person saying, Suze, the person that you sent us last we've talked to and we love her, we're going to be doing the article. Can I talk to you tomorrow about getting quotes from you and everything that you would want to say about it? I'm like, really? Like, of course, first thing, I'll call you at 9:00. And now I am so happy about that.A few more hours pass and this other deal that we had been working on now for almost eight months that all of a sudden they weren't really answering our emails anymore and I thought, that's never going to happen, all right, I'll let that go. Out of the clear blue, on the exact same day, we get an email saying, we are so, so sorry that we haven't been in touch with you. We've been you doing our year-end budget, we didn't know what we were going to be doing this next year, or whatever, and we now just decided we, of course, want to do this deal with you, Suze. We want you to be our person, and I'm like, really? And the "really" wasn't about, of course they want me because they should want me, because really, there's nobody better to do what this particular company needs to do than me. But the "really" was about, is it possible because I faced a fear with the help of KT and I broke through, and now I'm going and all this thing?So I freed up all this energy, this fear that was blocking me, so obviously it wasn't just the fear about Oprah. I must have been carrying some fear around with me now for months, who knows what it is? Was it that I was afraid of the new year, I don't know, and I have to figure that out? Just like you have to figure out what is stopping you. But whatever it was, facing one fear or just taking one action, one little action obviously cleared that funnel of fear that was in me. And now it's not. I mean, maybe it was the fear of all right, I just wrote a book and wasn't going, you know, after nine New York Times bestsellers, will this next one be a New York Times bestseller? Will the PBS special be successful?You know, just because you're successful doesn't mean that you're not afraid, because everybody has such high expectations for everything that I do, and if it doesn't meet those expectations, it's their bottom line that also gets affected. So all of that is probably adding to my state of angst here that I had. I no longer have it, by the way, it's gone at this moment, but, it's interesting, right?So I tell you this story because if I have that at times, I know you have that at times. So somewhere we have to figure out a way of, how do you clear the funnel of fear? And that is the title off this week's podcast, Clearing the Funnel of Fear. So what I want you to do is a little experiment. I want you to write down everything that you are afraid of in your life right here and right now. I want you to put them in order of which one can you take action on first? And I just want you to somehow deal with that one fear. And what will be interesting is to see is if the other things that you're fearful of either come into line, fall into place or all of a sudden you find after you've taken the action on the first one that you're really not as afraid, or afraid at all of all the other ones.So it's one thing for me to sit here and tell all of you, listen, there's only one way... You know, in that Suze voice that I can get, the one that KT talks to you about. You know, I just talk differently when I talk about money soo I'm trying to be just a little more gentle today. But here's the thing. It's one thing for me to sit here and talk to you about, there's only one way for you to conquer your fear, and that's through action. And then for me, once again, to experience the truth of those words. The truth of those words, because I watched it happen to myself. And that's key. You know, you always have to know if what I am saying, does it work or not? And when I'm able to see it work in my own life, and in my own life on such a magnificent level, it was really a big level the other day. Then I really can sit here and with even more conviction, more faith, more belief, tell you oh, you betcha it does.So let's make 2020 a year, of perfect sight. A year of perfect financial insight into our own lives that are blocking us from having more because we're blocked from being more. This is the year where I am asking you to do whatever it takes, both personally and financially speaking, to clear the funnel of fear. In providing answers neither Suze Orman Media nor Suze Orman is acting as a Certified Financial Planner, advisor, a Certified Financial Analyst, an economist, CPA, accountant, or lawyer. Neither Suze Orman Media nor Suze Orman makes any recommendations as to any specific securities or investments. All content is for informational and general purposes only and does not constitute financial, accounting or legal advice. You should consult your own tax, legal and financial advisors regarding your particular situation. Neither Suze Orman Media nor Suze Orman accepts any responsibility for any loss, which may arise from accessing or reliance on the information in this podcast and to the fullest extent permitted by law, we exclude all liability for loss or damages, direct or indirect, arising from use of the information. To find the right Credit Union for you, visit https://www.mycreditunion.gov/. Interested in Suze's Must Have Documents? Go to https://shop.suzeorman.com/checkout/cart/index/.

Resources & Tools You Need:

Suze Recommends

Saving, Investing, Home Ownership

Tapping Your Home Equity in 2022

Read Now

Credit & Debt, Saving, Investing, Retirement

Amazon Freevee Brings Back The Suze Orman Show With an Exclusive Licensing Deal

Read Now

Saving, Investing, Retirement

Podcast Episode - Ask Suze & KT Anything: The Mistakes You Can’t Afford To Make

Read Now