Podcast Episode - Suze School: What’s Your Emotional Money Score?

On this new edition of Ask KT and Suze Anything, Suze answers questions about home buying, car loans, and changing jobs.  Plus, what is Stagflation and so much more.How many times have we heard Suze say that the internal obstacles to wealth are fear, shame and anger?  For this Suze School, we’re going to find out exactly what our emotional money score really is.  Make sure you have your Suze Notebooks out for this one!

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Podcast Transcript:

May 11, 2025. Welcome everybody to the Women and Money podcast as well as everybody smart enough to listen. Today is Suze School, and it's a different kind of Suze School today, although we've had a few like this in the past.

Today is a day where it is essential that you take out either your Suze notebooks, or if you happen to be walking, if you're jogging, if you're driving, just put this podcast on pause right now.

Because I only want you to listen to this podcast if you have a piece of paper and a pencil in front of you so that you can record your answer to the 20 questions that I am about to ask you now I know, I get it. A lot of you just love when I talk about the stock market and this and that. I get that.

But this podcast, this particular 1 may be 10 times more important than any prediction or recommendation or whatever I could ever give you, cause here's the bottom line when it comes to your money. How many times have I said to you, number one, you and your money are one. We know that you've heard that. You're tired of me even saying it.

How many times have you heard me say that the internal obstacles to wealth are fear, shame, and anger? Those are the three emotions that rule you. You buy when you should be selling. You sell when you should be buying. You go out and buy a new car when you know you can't afford a new car. You go to the store and you see things and you see a white turtleneck and you buy it even though you already have 5 because it's on sale.

Over the 40 years that I've been doing this, everybody, I can tell you, that until you understand what I just said, until you understand and feel it.

Feel the truth of it.

That fear, shame, and anger are the internal obstacles to wealth.

Until you get that and you then recognize oh. Those are my emotions, but they don't have to control me. I can control them.

That I don't think you'll ever have what I call true wealth.

I just don't. That is a truth that I need you to face. So today we are going to have a podcast where you're gonna find out what is your emotional money score.

And it's important to really know, are you in control of your emotions, or are your emotions still currently in control of you, because you have to get that money alone isn't the key to true financial freedom. It's just not. It's your mindset, your emotions, and your willingness to face the truth.

The truth that really everybody can unlock the power for you to control your money, and when you control your money versus your emotions controlling your money, you also own the power to control your destiny.

So here's how this is gonna work.

I am going to ask you 20 questions, and there will be 4 answers A, B, C, or D. All you have to do is write down which letter corresponds to the answer that you most relate to. That's it.

And then I'll tell you how we go from there. So are you ready to begin?

All right, let's start.

When you think about your finances, which emotion do you feel most often?

A calm and in control. B anxious or fearful. C indifferent or avoidant, or D excited but sometimes impulsive. Write down which letter corresponds to your answer.

Now I know a lot of you are... can you repeat that, Suze? I want you, as soon as you hear the response that you really relate to, just write down the letter. Don't go so deep into this, all right.

Just because that was the very first question, I will read it again. Ready?

When you think about your finances, which emotion do you feel most often?

Right, listen carefully now. A calm and in control. B anxious or fearful. C indifferent or avoidant. D excited but sometimes impulsive. Just write down the letter.

2, if the stock market drops or the economy is about to implode how do you react?

A, I stick to my plan and I don't panic. B I worry and consider making rash changes. I ignore it and hope for the best. Or D. I feel a rush and want to act quickly.

Number 3, when you want to make a big purchase, what's your process?

A. I evaluate if it's a need or a want and act accordingly. B. I often buy it just to feel better than regret it. C. I avoid thinking about it until the last minute, or D. I buy first and figure out the consequences later.

4 do you have an emergency fund?

A. Yes, and I contribute to it regularly. B. I do, but it falls far short of what I know I need. C. No, I keep putting it off, and D I save only when I am financially afraid.

5. How do you feel about discussing money with loved ones?

A. comfortable and open. B. nervous or ashamed. C. I avoid it. D. I dominate the conversation or use money to impress others.

6, if you experience a financial setback, what is your first response?

A. I assess the situation calmly and make a plan. B. I panic and feel overwhelmed. C. I ignore it, hoping it will resolve itself, and D. I blame myself or others and act impulsively.

7, do you believe having more money would solve your problems?

A. no, I know happiness and security come from within. B. Yes, I often think more money would fix everything. C. I don't know. I avoid thinking about it. D. Sometimes, but I also know I need to change my habits.

8. How do you feel when you see others spending money on things that you want but can't afford?

A. I'm happy for them and content with my own choices. B. I'm jealous or resentful. C. I try not to think about it. D. I sometimes overspend just to keep up.

9. When you receive unexpected money like a bonus or a gift or a tax refund, what is your first instinct?

A. you save or invest it. B. you spend it quickly. C. You let it sit unsure what to do, and D. you treat yourself, then worry about the rest.

10. How do you approach setting financial goals?

A. I set clear, realistic goals and track my progress. B. I set goals but rarely follow through. C. I avoid setting goals because it feels overwhelming. D. I set ambitious goals but get distracted by new desires.

OK, you're halfway there. How you doing, everybody? Are you writing down the letter, just the letter that corresponds to your answer? You should know the answer immediately when you hear it. Do not give it a lot of thought. Just know what you respond to and write it down, all right.

11. If you make a financial mistake, how do you handle it?

A. I learn from it and I adjust my behavior. B. I dwell on it and feel guilty. C. I ignore it and hope it goes away. And D. I blame myself harshly or repeat the mistake.

12. What's your attitude towards debt? A. I avoid it or pay it off quickly. B. I feel anxious or ashamed about it. C. I ignore it and hope it won't catch up to me. Or D. I use debt to get what I want now, then worry later.

13. how often do you check your bank accounts or your credit union accounts or your money account balances?

A. regularly as part of my routine B. only when I'm worried. C rarely or never or D. when I feel like spending or after a splurge.

14, how do you feel about your current savings for retirement?

A. I'm confident and on track. B. I'm worried cause I'm falling behind. C. I don't know how much I have. D. I keep meaning to start but haven't.

15. When you receive a bill or a financial statement, what's your reaction?

A. I open and review it right away. B. I feel anxious, but open it eventually. C. I avoid opening it as long as possible. D. I ignore it until there's a problem.

16. How do you make decisions about lending or giving money to a friend or family member?

A. I set clear boundaries and stick to them. B. I feel guilty saying no. C. I avoid the conversation. D. I often say yes even when I shouldn't.

17. How do you feel about negotiating your salary?

A. comfortable and assertive. B. nervous but try any way. C. I avoid it or D. I get aggressive or emotional.

18. If you lost your job tomorrow, how would you cope financially and emotionally?

A. I have a plan and would stay calm. B. I'd panic but try to figure it out. C. I'd feel lost and overwhelmed and D. I'd blame myself or others and act impulsively.

19. How do you react when someone offers you financial advice?

A. Open minded and willing to learn, B. defensive or embarrassed. C. I tune out or avoid the conversation, and D. I get argumentative or dismissive.

And the very last question is what's your overall feeling about your financial future.

A. hopeful and proactive. B. worried but trying to improve. C. uncertain and avoidant. And D. optimistic but sometimes unrealistic.

All right, that was all 20 questions. Take a breath.

Do you know who Iyanla Vanzant is? She used to be on the Oprah show all the time. She used to look in the camera and say, just take a breath. All right.

Next, here is what I want you to do. You should have 20 letters in front of you.

For every A that you have, I want you to give it 3 points.

For every B that you have, I want you to give it 1 point.

For every C that you have, I want you to give it 0 points,

and for every D that you have, I want you to give it 2 points.

So for instance, if you happen to have 20 A's,

The maximum score would be obviously 60 points. Right now I want you to look at your answers, and I want you to total up what your score happens to be because you now are about to find out what your emotional money score is.

Are you ready? Here we go. If you happen to have scored between 50 and 60 points, you are what I call emotionally empowered, for really you have mastered your emotions cause you're making wise, confident financial decisions, so you should feel so good about yourself it's not even funny.

Anywhere from 30 to 49 you're what I call emotionally aware. Now you're aware about your emotions, so you're growing in that self awareness. You're making some progress, but you still are learning to manage your emotions around money. So even though you're aware, you're not yet emotionally empowered.

Am I making sense?

Between 15 and 29 You're what I call emotionally reactive. You're somebody whose financial decisions usually are driven by fear, anxiety, maybe you're impulsive, but you are reactive to how you are feeling at the moment. Chances are if you're angry, you'll probably go out and buy something you don't even need or want.

And between 0 or 14 You're what I call emotionally overwhelmed. You feel overwhelmed. You absolutely lack confidence or hope about your finances. Your emotions are overwhelming you and ruling your life, and I'm sure it's not just ruling your life when it comes to your money. I'm sure it's ruling your life with your children, with your relationships, with everything around you.

Now you know your emotional money score, so you're like, well, now what do I do, Suze? So what good does that do me?

This should serve as a wake up call seriously.

A wake up call, especially if you're in the bottom two categories here.

Every decision you make, every action that you take, especially when it comes to your money.

Just stop. Just stop for one second before you do it, and I want you to take note.

In terms of how you are feeling, why you are about to do what you are about to do.

I want you to ask yourself that question. I also want you to postpone doing it for that day.

If you're going shopping and you're about to buy something.

Rather than buying it at that moment, can you just ask the person to hold it for you, and you'll be back tomorrow.

And see if you have a desire to go back the next day.

If you want to do something, I don't care what it is, let's go out to eat, let's do this, let's do that. I just want you to stop for a second and just see if you can tune in to how you are feeling at that moment in time.

If you are feeling like you're ashamed, if you feel like you're angry, if you feel like you're afraid, any of those emotions or any other emotion you may be feeling, can you just stop?

And just postpone it for a few hours or a day, but at least be aware of where that impulse to do something is coming from. Once you start to see it, recognize it now you're like, oh, that's why I did that.

Oh, I get it now. And little by little you start to have control over your emotions versus your emotions having control over you. Now I actually have far more detailed explanations of every one of those categories, and I will post them.

On the Women and Money community app, which by the way you could all download by going to Apple Apps or Google Play, and I will just give you the score ranges again and a more detailed explanation of each one of those categories just so you can see how you scored what would be great and what I would love to see.

And I will put up a poll today, of how did you score?

I would just like to know how many of the people who listen to the Women and Money podcast, what category do you fall in?

That brings us to the conclusion of another Suze School.

KT: Not quite, Suze. We're not done yet.

Suze: And what else is there to say Miss Travis?

KT: First, I want to wish you happy Mother's Day money Mommy.

Suze: Whoah!

KT: She's the ultimate mother of money for all of us.

Suze: However, what we really want to do is wish every single mother out there a happy Happy Mother's Day.

KT: You can do it.

Suze: They are doing it.

KT: You're doing it, Mama.

Suze: It's hardest job in life if you ask me.

KT: Yes it is.

Suze: But anyway, until Thursday when who's gonna join us?

KT: You get KT. You get a lot of KT.

Suze: I have to say, KT, you have been sitting there so quiet.

KT: She said, Don't say anything. Don't say anything. And then at the very end I knew I was gonna say that.

Suze: It was like she wanted to hear what was the quiz that I created for all of you, but anyway, happy Mother's Day. Happy Mother's Day, and both of us will see you on Thursday. But until then there's only one thing that we want you to remember when it comes to your money. And what is that, KT?

KT: People first, then money, then things.

Suze: Now you stay safe. Bye bye.