November 01, 2020
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On this podcast, Suze shares a personal story about one of her dear friends. She also tells us the four key things we need to remember, in order to be successful leaders in our own lives.
November 1st, 2020. Suze Orman's Women and Money Podcast is proudly sponsored by credit unions, a safe home for your money, rain or shine. Suze Orman here and you are listening to the women and money podcast. November 1st, 2020 Welcome to the women and money Podcast as well as the men smart enough to listen? Suze Orman here and I have a story, a real life story that I want to tell you. It was about a week ago now, and 28 junior officers had gathered in Washington D. C. at a ceremony that was taking place at the Pentagon. Now these officers were there to be presented with one of the most prestigious and desired leadership awards that a soldier can attain. And as they took their seats properly Covid distance from one another, the general presiding over the ceremony took the stage. The main theme of his address was that he really wanted the soldiers that were sitting in front of him to fully comprehend what it took for them to be there that day. He knew how seriously hard it was to earn this award, and that the percentage rate to have been chosen was even harder and stricter than the competition to be a general officer. Now just so all of you have an idea what it really takes to win this award just listen to me for a second. There are currently over 120,000 company grade officers in the Army. So to be one of these 28 officers selected for this coveted award, that means their chances were less than 2/100 of a percent. So this group of 28 really represented an elite group of soldiers who have been identified as the top leaders in the Army today. The general took his time telling them that their career was a marathon, that it wasn't a sprint, that each award recipient had demonstrated years of great leadership, and he was really proud of each and every one of them, and that he knew that they were going to live up to the legacy of those who have gone before them. The highlight of the generals talk was his follows. He said that great leaders possess the three C's of leadership, competence, commitment and character. But the general did not stop there. He paused. He took a breath. And then he said, however, this year he was going to add a fourth C to leadership and the fourth C stood for care. That care is so very important today because today we need leaders more than ever now that truly care about the soldiers that they led, that we need leaders that care about their people, their soldiers, their families and their civilians. He said “No one cares how much you know until they know how much you care” and that the best leaders not only require a, high level of intelligence quotient or IQ, but they also should have an emotional quotient or EQ you so that they could inspire their people to do incredible things in the Army. And as you move up higher, he was saying, In leadership roles, IQ becomes less important and EQ becomes even more important. And in closing, he wanted everyone to know that the unique background of all of this year's awardees, who came from all corners of the country and even overseas, that every single one of them had worked incredibly hard and demonstrated the competence, the commitment, the character and care for our soldiers that are army needs. Now maybe you're sitting there and you're thinking about why am I telling you this story? You know, it's not just by coincidence. Then I'm telling you this story. Really? November 1st, two days before the election of when we are all to choose our leader for the next four years. But I'm telling you this story really, for two reasons one to ask you to contemplate and think about your own lives. Do you want to be a great leader? A, leader, maybe in your own business or maybe a leader in your company or a leader in your family or in your schools or neighborhoods are just and how you live your life every day. Do you, do you possess any or all the four seas of leadership, competence, commitment, character and care? And I really want you to think about what do these four words mean to you? How do they affect you? How do they affect all those who you love? And how can you bring those traits fourth in your life. And I just want you to think about this for I have to tell you, in my opinion, over these next few months, in particular, it's going to be vital that you display these traits in every possible way. But the most important reason I wanted to tell you this story is because one of my great friends, Captain Karim Nicholas Dockery, he loves to go by his middle name. Captain Nicholas Dockery, who serves in the U. S. Army Special Operations Command, was one of these 28 recipients last week. Now, I've talked to all of you about Nick before, on one of our past podcasts. He was the one who gave me the American flag that was flying over a mission that he completed in Afghanistan. It was there at his post for months, and it meant a lot to everybody that was on this mission. And he took that flag when the mission was over, and he gave it to me. Then I have to tell you, I have that flag along with the picture of all the soldiers that fought under it, and I framed it and it hangs right here. I'm looking at it right now in my podcast studio, and I look at it every day and I remember all those whose lives were lost under that flag. So I tell you this story for I have to tell you I'm so proud to be Captain Nicholas Dockery's friend. So proud. Oh, you know, a few months ago when I was going through my health situation, Nick was so worried he was so concerned about was I going to be OK? What was I going to do and on and on and on? And he kept emailing me And he would say, You know, ma'am, he always calls me ma’am. By the way, you know, ma'am, in my life I've lost more than most, and I have left my best friends on the battlefield. So I think of my friends every day. And I know what a true friend is. I know what it's like to risk your life for a friend and how important friends that truly care are. Then he asked me a question. He says, Ma'am, I've sent you something in the mail that I really want you to have Did you get it? And I wrote him back and I said, Nick, I'm back on the island in the Bahamas where I can't get mail. I'm not in my Florida home anymore, so if you mailed it there, I have to tell you I'm just not going to get it for some time, he writes back. And he says, It's okay, ma'am. It can wait one day it will get to you, but I just want you to know that there's nothing that I could give you that means more to me than this. Now I have to tell you, when I read that, I was so curious as to what Nick sent. But there wasn't much I could do until a few months later when somebody I knew was going to be flying over here. And I asked them if they could bring a gift to me that someone gave me if I could get it delivered to them and they said, Of course. So finally I get Nick's gift and I open it up to find a little blue box. I carefully opened up the little blue box and literally my heart just stops beating. I close the box and I go to KT and I said, You have to see this and I opened the box up for her to see and she just stares at it in silence for their really or no words. Inside the box was a Purple Heart, a purple Heart that Captain Nick Dockery had been awarded for almost losing his life while he was in Afghanistan. With the Purple Heart was a handwritten letter from Nick that I would read to you, but no way could I get through the entire letter without crying my eyes out. In essence, Nick just wanted me to know that he feels like I've cared for him and that I am indeed his true friend. And in life there is nothing more precious than that. You know, out of all the awards and accolades I have ever been given in my lifetime, Nicks Purple Heart, without a shadow of a doubt, will always be my most treasured. Nick is such a special person, but it's not just Nick. It's all the men and women who served in the armed forces. We must never, ever forget that they are risking their lives for the honor of you in our country, for our freedom, and to keep us safe and sound. I've seen Nick's wounds and what he's been through and yet nothing. I mean, nothing can keep him from his mission in life of protecting all of us. And it's moments like this that when you meet somebody and you get a connection with somebody, even though you have nothing in common with them nothing. I mean, I don't even know how it happened, really, that I started this relationship with this soldier. How did that happen? That we email each other once two or three times a week, that somehow I touched his heart so that he gave me his purple heart? You know, we briefly met face to face on the island where I live because he has a family that lives on the island. But I have to tell you, many families live on this island, and I've never connected with most of them. I don't even know half of their names, but I sure know Captain Nicholas Dockery. I know him. I know him well. And I'll never forget once he was talking to and he said, Ma'am, do you think I could ever get married? I said, I don't think so, Nick. And he said, Why? I said, Nick, you're married to what you do, you’ve seen too much, you know too much and I just don't think so. I think it's like just this dream, but not reality. And it was at that moment that he was also thinking, well, maybe he really should do something with his life. Maybe it's time after all these years that he goes on and he goes back to school and he just becomes something. And I said to him, what are you talking about? You've become everything. Look at the awards on your, you know, on your uniform. In fact, now that I'm saying that I'm going to post on the women and money app a, picture of Nick going to the ceremony. He was so proud. He sent me a picture and and along with it he said, you know, Suze, I don't normally get dressed up like this. How do you think I look? And it was so sweet. So, I'll post that for all of you to see. I'll also post a picture of the Purple Heart for all of you to see. But we were talking, and I said, Nick, you've given everything. Really. You've given everything. What more could you want and he said? I'll have to think about it, ma'am. And then he went on. And another award that he was just given was he is now able to get a full scholarship to go to any school. He wants to go to and he's applied to now Harvard in all these schools so that he can then be trained to, learn whatever it is that he needs to learn to come back to the Army, to really be able to then command the forces when they do secret missions and all these other things. So, Nick all of a sudden now has gotten his dream, and he's now going to go back to school full scholarship and then go back to the Army. The main point of all of this that I'm telling you this story is that we have to be open in our lives to those that we meet and we come across. And no matter what they're doing in their lives, we have to be open in hear the entire story before we just judge them on what they look like, or even who they're voting for, or whatever it may be, we really have to now have the four C's in our life. The four C’s that great leaders possess because this world has needed those four C’s right now more than it's ever needed it before. And for those of you who are going to vote in just two more days, I want you to just think about this story. Just think about it and is the leader that you are going to choose. Do they possess competence, commitment, character, and do they care? I just asked you to think about that. I want to choose a leader for this country that possesses all four of those qualities of leadership. Either way you go, I just ask you to think about that. So I tell you this story again. Mainly to honor Nick to honor. Nick, who I am so proud to call my friend. Hi, I'm Sarah and I'm Robert and we're from Suze Orman's Women and Money Podcast team here to tell you that a lawyer's member credit unions are so proud to have brought you this episode. You know, Robert, credit unions live by a people helping people Philosophy? Absolutely, Sarah. And that means when you bank with a credit union, you can trust that they have your best interests at heart. The fact is, regardless of circumstance, a credit union will have your back and keep your money safe. That's the credit union promise Go to my credit union dot gov to find a credit union that fits your needs. That's my credit union dot gov. In providing answers, neither Suze Orman Media nor Suze Orman is acting as a certified financial planner advisor, a certified financial analysts and economists SEPA accountant or lawyer, another Suze Orman Media nor Suze Orman make any recommendations as to any specific securities or investments. All content is for informational and general purposes only, and does not constitute financial, accounting or legal advice. You should consult your own tax, legal and financial advisors regarding your particular situation. Neither Suze Orman Media nor Suze Orman accept any responsibility for any loss, which may arise from accessing or reliance on the information in this podcast and to the fullest extent permitted by law, we exclude all liability for loss or damage is direct or indirect, arising from the use of the information.Suze Orman's Women and Money Podcast is proudly sponsored by credit unions. A safe home for your money, rain or shine.
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Answer Yes or No to the follow statements.
I pay all my credit card bills in full each month.
I have an eight-month emergency savings fund separate from my checking or other bank accounts.
The car I am driving was paid for with cash, or a loan that was no more than three years, and I sure didn’t lease!
I am contributing at least 10% of my gross salary to a retirement plan at work, or I am saving at least that much in an IRA and/or regular taxable account.
I have a long-term asset allocation plan for my retirement investments, and once a year I check to see if I need to do any rebalancing to stay on target with my allocation goals.
I have term life insurance to provide protection to those who are dependent on my income.
I have a will, a trust, an advance directive (living will), and have appointed someone to be my health care proxy.
So how did you do?
If you answered yes to every item, congratulations. If you are working on improving on a few items, I say congratulations as well.
As long as you are comitted to truly creating financial security, I applaud you. If that means you are paying down your credit card balances, or are building up your emergency fun with automated payments, that’s more than fine. You are on your way!
But if you found yourself saying No to any of those questions, and you’re not working on moving to Yes, then I want you to stand in your truth. No matter how good you feel, you have some work to do before you can honestly know what you are on solid financial ground.